So I've (M32) started seeing a new girl (F28) for the last few months after unsuccessfully dating or having sex for several years. Good news is we definitely connect emotionally/personality wise, so I feel like I can be myself around her, And while she is a little on the heavy side right now, but that's not a deal breaker for me as there is still many small things I find physically appealing about her. Plus I know weight is a constantly changing variable and I'm not exactly rocking a six-pack myself, so I'm focusing more on the emotional connection and the pleasure we can give each other.
My problem is I'm a bit of an overthinker and also a bit self conscious being naked/performing after so long….. and I think being on my own for several years is also a factor as I've gotten more used to taking care of things myself than having someone else do it.
So while I know how to get it up/take care of my own needs fine. I've had a bit of trouble staying aroused the few times we tried anything so far. The cool thing is that she has been very understanding/supportive so far, but of course it's bother me to no end right now and would really appreciate some help on how to quiet my brain/let go of my anxiety and better enjoy the moment from other people who have possibly had similar issues/experiences.
TL;DR
nervous overthinker having performance anxiety with new partner.