To start this off I love my wife and i’m not leaving her. She’s in therapy and i’m in process of getting myself a therapist.
I can’t ask anyone in my real life about this so I guess I will post there. My wife is too fat. It didn’t start off that way, thoughshe always a little chubby. But since our wedding 4 years ago she’s easily put on 200 pounds. Last time I went to the doctor with her she was 350 lbs at 5’5. I love her much and she’s an incredible person but my attraction to her is just nonexistent anymore and I am terrified for her health.
Since our wedding we’ve both taken on desk jobs and the cute girl I fell in love with is now too fat to do any of the activities we used.
I met her in college through an outdoor activity club- she went on birth control after about a year of dating and has gradually gotten bigger. I really didn’t care at first but once she started struggling to walk and stopped exercising I suggested going to a doctor to make sure everything was okay- It seemed to happen so quick I didn’t notice how severe it was untill she was unable to fit in a booth at our anniversary dinner- the same booth I proposed to her. When I suggested this she did not take this well and became very angry at me.
I understand women are made to feel horrible about their weight but I genuinely just missed doing things with her and told her exactly as much, she wasn’t receptive- so I dropped it. I feel as if I shouldn’t have.
I’m not sure if she’s in denial about her weight or what- I haven’t brought it up outside of asking her to visit the doctor but I always am sure to invite her to the gym with me and home cook every meal for her.
Her clothing does not fit her and she needs my assistance in putting in and tying her shoes and sometimes even just getting up. We’re only 27.
This weekend my friend brought his girlfriend over who is very thin and still in college. It really killed me to see how mobile and energetic was. She was able to get up and participate in games and sit on my friends lap while my wife just sat on the couch and snaked- and yes I admit I was attracted to her. It’s not that I wanted to pursue her or anything but it just reminded me of when I first started dating my wife. I miss when my wife was smaller and active. I miss when I was wash constantly worried.
This is vain but our sex life is awful. I’d be happy to not even touch my wife but intimacy is very important to her. Her belly makes missionary impossible and her knees can’t support her weight so doggy doesn’t work either. She suggested using two chairs to prop up her legs while she lays on the edge of the bed, while I stand in between them and penetrate her from the angle- this is what we’ve been doing but the only way I can finish is if I close my ways or look away from her, because the angle is just so unattractive.
My wife’s personally is wonderful and I love spending time with her- I just miss the girl I fell in love with. I have suggested couples therapy but she is disinterested. I don’t want her to be tiny thin but just able to be active and have normal sex. I miss kissing during intimacy. Anytime I suggest working out or mmaybe dieting she gets angry at me and we won’t talk. She’ll say she is doing something about it but she isn’t. She refuses to size up clothes and behaves as if she hasn’t doubled in size, it’s concerning. She eats so much and barely gets off the couch and I can only imagine the toll this is taking on her heart.
I do not mean to be rude towards overweight people, I am sorry if I offended anybody and english is not my first language but my wife is American and we live there (moved for college).
I want to be with her forever even if she stays obese but how do I get over how unattracted I am to her. She is beautiful but it’s like her features are buried within fat