What’s the 1 thing that you did that your spouse will never know?
September 23, 2025
We all have that one thing that we’ve done that will probably stay in the closet forever.
26 comments
nice try husband
My husband pretty much knows all my stuff. Ive also forgotten stuff, so there’s that so we both will never know.
Hate him. lol. Although he probably knows now, since we’re divorced.
Nothing. He knows absolutely everything. Even stuff I thought I would take to the grave.
I wore his favorite hockey jersey once because he was out of town, and I was missing him. It’s signed by his favorite player so it was always “off limits”.
And I stupidly dumped sauce on it, and after tears and panic and hair pulling and contemplating running away I had it professionally cleaned. I then put in a display case to cover up the very very minor stain that was left but I knew he would find (cost a HELLUVA lot too). I hung the thing up on the wall and told him it was a surprise because I wanted to preserve it for him and he thought it was sweet of me. He still has no idea I did it for self preservation lol
[removed]
We have an ongoing problem that’s plagued us for ages. I work from home and he doesn’t, and it’s the weirdest thing but “Some guy” keeps breaking into our house during the day and nibbling at the snacks we bought. I tell him about it every day. “That guy broke in again, held me hostage and ate some ice cream!!!” My husband is like “oh my god I can’t believe that guy! I’ll have to buy more on the way home!!”
Here’s the thing though.
There is no guy.
It’s me.
I ate the ice cream.
After fifteen years he still doesn’t suspect.
This one time, at band camp…
How many men are in love with me and I still choose him. Idk why they fall for me but they do. I’m not even all that good looking.
He’ll never know just how different he is to all other men I’ve ever had a relationship with.
He doesn’t get how awesome he is.
Even though I tell him all the time hahaha he’s too cute.
I have “ducked*” my husband’s Jeep 3 times. Once when his hockey team lost in playoffs, once when he was having a bad day. I can’t remember the circumstances of the 3rd. Only my mom knows about 1 time.
*Jeep Wrangler owners leave a rubber duck on the door handle of another jeep they think is cool
For our first wedding anniversary (paper), he did some research and bought me a book – it’s 100% my type and had won the Booker prize. But I already owned it, he just hadn’t noticed it on the shelf. I hadn’t read it yet though.
Took my existing copy to a 2nd hand bookstore, read the one he bought, and loved it as predicted.
Orgasm….. I jest. I once sold the wrong toolbox. He was out of town and he asked me to take the toolboxes the guy that bought it from him. And a complete lack of knowledge on my part because I took the expensive one though to stay in the garage. In my defense, they are both empty and they’re both the same color. But boy did I have to pretend like I forgot to close the garage and it got stolen. And you know what I’ll take the L. Because I just replaced it as a wonderful Christmas gift and I will take that to the tree because he is not on Reddit
When my husband and i first moved in together, we were getting groceries and buying milk, he grabbed a container of 1% (i drank 2%) so i told him i normally drank homogenized milk so lets meet in the middle at 2% as a compromise. To this day he doesnt know i bent the truth a bit lol.
Im trying to come up with something but the man knows everything. Mostly I never keep my mouth shut, so if something new comes into my head he ends up hearing it. I *tried* to keep it a secret that the kitten I brought home was found on the street rather than picked up on fb marketplace…. that secret only lasted a month (and he already knew i was lying by the time I told him).
Genuinely cant think of a damn thing. He knows all my insecurities, seen me do all the embarrassing stuff humans do, knows all my traumas and fears, and knows just about everything.
Sometimes when he’s asleep and too far on my side of the bed. I very aggressively and abruptly shove him over, and then quickly roll over and pretend like I’m asleep. He wakes up and is like WTF! And then I “wake up” and have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve heard him tell other people about these terrible dreams he ha, that he never remembers, but that wake him up violently. 🤣
We dated casually for a while before we became exclusive and I was WAY into him from very early on. For a while we both were dating other people, but I also had a sense that being patient with him would be worth it. I really really liked him, but he will never know how much and how early or that he used to stay for a weekend and leave behind t-shirts and I’d wear them to sleep for weeks afterward.
This is a dude looking for j/o material. Reply if you want, just wanted people to know why he’s asking.
I once asked my husband to get dry wine. He asked what it looks like. I said it comes in a bag as a powder. He went to multiple alcohol stores demanding powdered wine.
We live with a relative so there’s 3 of us. I am the one who always finishes off the bags of chips. 🙁 I just let them wonder who did it.
Put up with his emotional abuse for far too long, and how much he’s hurt me, and continues to hurt me by inaction. He’ll never know.
when making his dinner, he always gets the best of the meal. the crispiest corner of a casserole, the best cooked pancake of the batch, the corner of the brownies. it makes me really happy to know he has the best of the best
When we were long distance, we’d spend time together by him playing games on twitch so I could watch. When he’d get stuck with something I’d Google it and then give him hints to help him figure it out. He’d always be excited we solved it together so I never had the heart to admit it but I think he’s figuring it out now because when we play games together and I can’t figure out a simple puzzle he’s baffled 😂
I don’t date this guy anymore but I convinced my ex that he was better at mincing garlic than me. I would always start doing it terribly and he would proudly interject and finish the job lol. I’m an ex line chef. I just hated mincing garlic. He legitimately thought he was better at it than me and in two years I never corrected him.
My husbands love language is gift giving. Very early on in our relationship, he started to occasionally bring me a little cherry tomato whenever he got himself one, as a little treat. I knew it was his way of saying “I love you”, but I hate raw tomatoes. We’ve been married 4 years and he still doesn’t know.
Allllll the loud and stinky farts I’ve ripped the moment he goes to bed early or leaves the house without me 🤣
26 comments
nice try husband
My husband pretty much knows all my stuff. Ive also forgotten stuff, so there’s that so we both will never know.
Hate him. lol. Although he probably knows now, since we’re divorced.
Nothing. He knows absolutely everything. Even stuff I thought I would take to the grave.
I wore his favorite hockey jersey once because he was out of town, and I was missing him. It’s signed by his favorite player so it was always “off limits”.
And I stupidly dumped sauce on it, and after tears and panic and hair pulling and contemplating running away I had it professionally cleaned. I then put in a display case to cover up the very very minor stain that was left but I knew he would find (cost a HELLUVA lot too). I hung the thing up on the wall and told him it was a surprise because I wanted to preserve it for him and he thought it was sweet of me. He still has no idea I did it for self preservation lol
[removed]
We have an ongoing problem that’s plagued us for ages. I work from home and he doesn’t, and it’s the weirdest thing but “Some guy” keeps breaking into our house during the day and nibbling at the snacks we bought. I tell him about it every day. “That guy broke in again, held me hostage and ate some ice cream!!!” My husband is like “oh my god I can’t believe that guy! I’ll have to buy more on the way home!!”
Here’s the thing though.
There is no guy.
It’s me.
I ate the ice cream.
After fifteen years he still doesn’t suspect.
This one time, at band camp…
How many men are in love with me and I still choose him. Idk why they fall for me but they do. I’m not even all that good looking.
He’ll never know just how different he is to all other men I’ve ever had a relationship with.
He doesn’t get how awesome he is.
Even though I tell him all the time hahaha he’s too cute.
I have “ducked*” my husband’s Jeep 3 times. Once when his hockey team lost in playoffs, once when he was having a bad day. I can’t remember the circumstances of the 3rd. Only my mom knows about 1 time.
*Jeep Wrangler owners leave a rubber duck on the door handle of another jeep they think is cool
For our first wedding anniversary (paper), he did some research and bought me a book – it’s 100% my type and had won the Booker prize. But I already owned it, he just hadn’t noticed it on the shelf. I hadn’t read it yet though.
Took my existing copy to a 2nd hand bookstore, read the one he bought, and loved it as predicted.
Orgasm….. I jest. I once sold the wrong toolbox. He was out of town and he asked me to take the toolboxes the guy that bought it from him. And a complete lack of knowledge on my part because I took the expensive one though to stay in the garage. In my defense, they are both empty and they’re both the same color. But boy did I have to pretend like I forgot to close the garage and it got stolen. And you know what I’ll take the L. Because I just replaced it as a wonderful Christmas gift and I will take that to the tree because he is not on Reddit
When my husband and i first moved in together, we were getting groceries and buying milk, he grabbed a container of 1% (i drank 2%) so i told him i normally drank homogenized milk so lets meet in the middle at 2% as a compromise. To this day he doesnt know i bent the truth a bit lol.
Im trying to come up with something but the man knows everything. Mostly I never keep my mouth shut, so if something new comes into my head he ends up hearing it. I *tried* to keep it a secret that the kitten I brought home was found on the street rather than picked up on fb marketplace…. that secret only lasted a month (and he already knew i was lying by the time I told him).
Genuinely cant think of a damn thing. He knows all my insecurities, seen me do all the embarrassing stuff humans do, knows all my traumas and fears, and knows just about everything.
Sometimes when he’s asleep and too far on my side of the bed. I very aggressively and abruptly shove him over, and then quickly roll over and pretend like I’m asleep. He wakes up and is like WTF! And then I “wake up” and have no idea what he’s talking about. I’ve heard him tell other people about these terrible dreams he ha, that he never remembers, but that wake him up violently. 🤣
We dated casually for a while before we became exclusive and I was WAY into him from very early on. For a while we both were dating other people, but I also had a sense that being patient with him would be worth it. I really really liked him, but he will never know how much and how early or that he used to stay for a weekend and leave behind t-shirts and I’d wear them to sleep for weeks afterward.
This is a dude looking for j/o material. Reply if you want, just wanted people to know why he’s asking.
I once asked my husband to get dry wine. He asked what it looks like. I said it comes in a bag as a powder. He went to multiple alcohol stores demanding powdered wine.
We live with a relative so there’s 3 of us. I am the one who always finishes off the bags of chips. 🙁 I just let them wonder who did it.
Put up with his emotional abuse for far too long, and how much he’s hurt me, and continues to hurt me by inaction. He’ll never know.
when making his dinner, he always gets the best of the meal. the crispiest corner of a casserole, the best cooked pancake of the batch, the corner of the brownies. it makes me really happy to know he has the best of the best
When we were long distance, we’d spend time together by him playing games on twitch so I could watch. When he’d get stuck with something I’d Google it and then give him hints to help him figure it out. He’d always be excited we solved it together so I never had the heart to admit it but I think he’s figuring it out now because when we play games together and I can’t figure out a simple puzzle he’s baffled 😂
I don’t date this guy anymore but I convinced my ex that he was better at mincing garlic than me. I would always start doing it terribly and he would proudly interject and finish the job lol. I’m an ex line chef. I just hated mincing garlic. He legitimately thought he was better at it than me and in two years I never corrected him.
My husbands love language is gift giving. Very early on in our relationship, he started to occasionally bring me a little cherry tomato whenever he got himself one, as a little treat. I knew it was his way of saying “I love you”, but I hate raw tomatoes. We’ve been married 4 years and he still doesn’t know.
Allllll the loud and stinky farts I’ve ripped the moment he goes to bed early or leaves the house without me 🤣