I really dont know what to think right now. Weve been together for almost 3 years, and have a 1.5yr old daughter.
Today our baby was climbing and running around everywhere, right by the both of us when she hopped onto a pillow and then bumped her head on the wall. She started crying and I scooped her up and began checking over her when my bf asked where she bumped. As im looking over her and telling him I think she hit her forhead (he says i didnt say anything so he didnt hear me) he screams "where the fuck did she hit" right next to me. I stopped and immediately told him I just said and im checking her. He got angry, got up and moved. It honestly frightened me. (I was in an abusive relationship before and he knows this)
I got quiet and he got quiet while making comments "here ill just take care of her since your happiness is the only one that matters" while I had just calmed her down, and him grabbing her from me made her start crying again. I didnt say anything, I didnt want to start a fight. I didnt tell him that he scared me, or how it made me felt. Ive learned that any time i do, its turned into a fight and everything is always pinned on how im a narcissistic terrible person, etc.
A couple hours go by, and I told him that I forgave him, hoping it would ease the tension in the room. He ignored me. So i asked why he was ignoring me. He asked forgiveness for what? I said for screaming at me and scaring me. He said "so what, you know why" i told him that I did respond to him the first time. He said "ya youre always right, im wrong im done i dont want your forgivness" then got up and left.
I just dont know what to do. I feel the need to apologize to him, for him yelling at me, like I always do. I just dont get it because we were having a good day today too. And it feels like he was looking for something to punish me for… I just feel so tired of dealing with this and not being able to tell him how I feel, and even when I'm trying my hardest to make him happy, its never good enough