I 29F met this guy 30M at a mutual friend’s birthday party. We had a good conversation and exchanged numbers to stay in touch. He texted me the next day asking me to come to downtown for some ice cream (he lives in downtown and I live 20 mins from downtown. I drive and he does not).
I was travelling immediately after the dinner party so I couldn’t and he was travelling the next day. Since we were both travelling for approx. two weeks, we stayed in touch via text and had one phone call.
When we were both back, I asked him to hang out, I said something along the lines of – let’s not be pen pals and schedule something, to which he said lol, sure I was planning on asking you out on Friday, this was Tuesday. So we went out on Wed the next day.
We went for bowling which was great. We kissed. I dropped him home after and he asked me to come inside which I politely declined stating I had to be up for work tomorrow since it was a weekday. He asked me out for movies for Friday. We went out, made out in the movies a lot, and asked me to come to his place to which I declined.
He asked me to come over to his place on Sunday to which I went. I mentioned to him what the reason I’ve been declining to go to his place was because I wasn’t ready for things to get physical and I didn’t want to put myself in a position where it could happen. He said I understand. We ended up having sex on Sunday. we talked a lot, and the conversation was something along the lines of me saying that this felt casual, and he was saying that it wasn’t causal. I mentioned that his actions make it seem so i.e. asking me to come over to his place early on and lack of intentionality. He mentioned that he just wanted me to see his place since he just moved in, and that he doesn’t really conform to the ‘dating norms’ and moves freely and that if I’m interpreting something differently I should just ask him. Fair enough, but I still feel like it’s causal.
Physical intimacy happened way too fast and I resent that. I’m not blaming him, I’m an adult who consented but I feel like I’m breaking my own boundaries – no more than 1 date per week (we’ve gone on 3) no house dates before 5 dates ( I went there on the 3rd or 4th interaction if you count the first time we met. He texts a lot too, and yesterday he asked me to come over. I didn’t go since my day was busy at work.
Am I being love bombed? Is this casual but he just doesn’t want to say so? Or am I overthinking. Idk?