Originally talked on grindr ( i guess first red flag) then he asked for my number because he wanted to delete the app in general and said he really liked me.
He asked if he can take things to the next level with me and I did give him the disclosure of me kind of going through some medical stuff right now that makes the prospect of dating difficult, but id be happy to meet and see how things go naturally.
He asked if he can call me after i sent that, i said sure but he never did. Maybe second red flag? I ended up texting him after 2 days of not hearing from him if he would be down to hangout sometime and he said sure.
Then we basically talk every other day for the next nearly 2 weeks and i imply we can meet up today once he is finally off work since he has been working basically 7 days in a row (sent me his schedule on his own to confirm). And he said he can’t wait and that the date will be very cute.
I check in with him the night before and basically say..
“Hey let me know if that diner works tomorrow around 5ish”
He texts me later that night like 6-7 hours later “okay” which was weird and short for him, the first sign he is being odd..
Then i wait until the next day (the day the date is suppose to happen) to see if he texts me then by 3pm to see if he elaborates on the “okay” to confirm the plans he still has not. This is when i ask him “what do you think?” referring to my previous text the night before
then around 4:30ish when the plans were implied around 5 and he still has not answered i sent –
“I guess ill take the hint that you’re probably no longer interested. I’ve enjoyed talking with you the past few weeks and was really looking forward to meeting you even if it doesn’t go anywhere, but i understand how feelings can change and i won’t take it personally. I can also get anxious/cold feet at times if that is the case so i get it.
If you’d like to talk about it or give me a call i’d be open to it and would appreciate that but if not then no worries and i wish you the best”
Did i handled this okay or seem desperate? If he reaches out to this should i even entertain it?
6 comments
As a guy myself. That dude is being weird.
I do think you handled and texted him appropriately.
It’s not desperate to assume that he’d honor his commitment to going on a date with you, especially when he’s the one who wanted to take things to the next level in the first place. I think your response was well-worded and warranted. I don’t think you should put any more effort into someone who isn’t willing to do the same for you (I’ve unfortunately had to learn this lesson myself, multiple times). Depending on his response you could continue to entertain the relationship but that’s up to you and your best judgement.
He wanted to get physical asap and when you put the brakes on he sulked like a baby. Red flags all the way good handling 👌
Oh girl I stopped reading after the first sentence, nothing good ever comes from grindr. If you don’t want random sex, delete that cesspool of an app.
With respect, why OLD when you then have a med condition which could prevent anything? Red flag for him, I think?
I guess I would have asked even earlier if he’s heading out yet, on the day of the date. U don’t need to wait till the last minute to find out someone is being flaky and rude.