TL;DR; I am considering a relationship with a long-time friend but I'm conflicted. We have an amazing emotional connection but he admitted he's only minimally attracted to me physically. I'm trying to be realistic, but I also want to feel desired. I’m now questioning if I'm being superficial and if his attraction can ever truly grow.
My long-time friend (32M) has recently expressed interest in dating me (29F), and I’m feeling incredibly conflicted. We have an amazing connection. We get along effortlessly, share the same core values, and I feel completely safe and comfortable with him. In fact, after all these years of knowing him inside and out, I have no doubt we would be great partners. He's also my physical type and I definitely feel attracted to him.
However, I’ve always had this gut feeling that he isn’t that physically attracted to me. I don't know if this is a genuine intuition or just my own insecurity (because I've always felt like the less attractive sibling, compared to my literal model sister). I know for a fact that my sister is definitely his physical type (many years ago he mentioned that he thought she was one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen). However my sister does not really seem that interested in him and I feel like that’s maybe why he never pursued her.
So, I asked him directly if he was attracted to me. He was completely honest, which I deeply appreciate. At first he was being veeeery careful with his words (probably because he didn’t want to hurt my feelings). But eventually he said he does feel some physical attraction to me, but it's not the "wow, she's definitely my type” or “she’s the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen" feeling. He added that he believes physical attraction can grow with love, and that his feelings for me as a person are what truly matter to him. He said a “minimal basis of physical attraction” is enough and that sometimes someone is not really your type physically but you start to appreciate them after a while.
I'm trying to be realistic about this. I know he shouldn't think I'm the prettiest woman in the world, because there are always going to be prettier women out there. Also, on one hand I’m happy it's not a relationship based purely on lust. The fact that he's attracted to me for my personality and who I am as a person is a wonderful thing. It makes me feel like he genuinely sees me as a potential life partner. But at the same time, I want to feel truly physically desired by the person I'm with.
This makes me question myself: Am I being superficial for wanting to feel a stronger sense of physical desire from him? I'm afraid that if we start dating, my own insecurities, amplified by his honesty, will constantly leave me wondering if his attraction to me will ever catch up with my attraction to him. I want a relationship where we both feel a deep and mutual connection (not just emotionally but also physically) but maybe I’m being too delusional or unrealistic. I’m not sure what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.