My wife has been part of team that consists of one female and 9 males. In August she told me that she passed the idea on to her manager about a Christmas dinner. She said that it would be nice to get to know her teammates in a more personal setting. I didn't think anything about it since December is a few months out.
Every couple weeks she'll bring it up in conversation.. it got me thinking that this is something that she is really looking forward to. She said that the manager left it up to her to plan out for the most part. Earlier this week when she mentioned some places she was looking at (all restaurants with bars) I mentioned if there will be a +1. Her response was all over. She said possibly, but the manager might want to have it low key. She said that her team has a weird work dynamic. This is what got anxiety up. I told her regardless, I'm going anyways. Her reply was a brief "ok, I just don't want it to be weird if spouses aren't invited". Then she tried to reassure me by saying that they are all married.
My wife can't handle her alcohol. She's cheated on me twice in the past, all alcohol related. She stopped drinking, for the most part. An after work function with guys got me thinking the worse.
This morning I snapped. I told her that I had a feeling that she didn't want me at the dinner. She said she did. I said that I don't feel comfortable her being alone. She asked what the problem is. I told her that I don't trust her drinking with guys.
She started crying. She said she's so sorry for the past.. and that she has been living with it every day since.. and she so sorry that I can't trust her drinking.. and she doesn't blame me for thinking the way that I do.
My question is am I over reacting? Is it wrong to force myself to this event if she does come back and said that no spouses are invited? Giving our conversation today I don't know what her stance will be going forward.