For context I've been seriously dating for almost 2 years now, consistently swiping on hinge for most of those 2 years, only taking a couple months off for a medical issue and another couple months off to "recover" from a failed situationship
Anyway, I matched with my gym crush a couple weeks ago on hinge. Was really hoping they'd make a hinge because I wasn't gonna approach them in the gym lmao.
And we talk, and I ask her out on a date like usual. We have our first date, and it is the second, if not first, best first date I've ever had. I was making her laugh, I thought she was funny, no real breaks in convo. So I was like hell yeah let's go on a second.
All that week we were texting a ton. Like she would almost instantly respond to my texts. I don't see this as a red flag in and of itself, I thought it was sweet and showed me she was into me/the idea of us.
Come the second date last night, it was good for the most part but there were a lot more breaks in convo, and we just didn't vibe as much. It was a solid time though, I wasn't dreading it but towards the end I just wanted to go home tbh.
Few questions about myself, she mentioned her ex (benefit of the doubt on that one tho, we were kind of on the topic about formative life events, it had been a year and a half since the breakup)
And so when I got home I just pondered for like an hour as to whether or not I wanted to see her again. But after that hour, I just came to the conclusion that if I'm not this sure, I should just end it.
So I was really straight up, "hey x, I had a good time tonight but I'm really on the fence about continuing this, so I think it's only fair to you that I don't drag this out. I'll see you around the gym!"
She was of course cordial in her response.
I felt alright about it last night, but this morning I feel like I fucked up.
I feel like being unsure after 2 dates (5ish cumulative hours with this person) is totally ok and it's not leading them on to do a third. By then I think it's decision time, but I wasn't there yet obviously.
So now I'm wondering what could've been. The only POTENTIAL incompatibilities were that she seems to go out a lot more than I do, and seems more political than I am, but I don't see those as deal breakers
I ended it mostly based on how I was feeling in those moments when we were chatting for the last hour before the date ended, and I don't think I was being fair to myself or her by over analyzing it.
For the hell of it, when I saw a friend for coffee this morning, I tried to treat our interactions the same way, and overanalyzed it when there was break in convo. Shocker, I felt exhausted and just wanted to go home.
I need to stop doing that shit when I go on dates and be in the moment more. I pressure myself to think of something to say, when I shouldn't do that.
Idk, I'm so mixed about the whole thing and I wish I just had true closure over the whole thing. And the worst part is, it is entirely my fault that I don't have said closure.
From now on I will always attempt a third date unless I see glaring red flags in the previous 2. I haven't felt this down in a long ass time