What’s your “I thought this was normal until my 30s” realization?
September 21, 2025
For me, I can already tell in the future is that the constant feeling of being behind, of comparing myself to everyone else. I thought it was just part of adult life turns out, it was anxiety. :/
10 comments
The constantly feeling like I had to say yes to everything, extra work, social plans, random favors or else people would be mad at me turns out that wasn’t being a good person that was people pleasing with a side of burnout. Now I say no like it’s a full sentence. These taste better than approval. Now tell me y’all, is it just me?
I stretch now before bed on purpose. If I don’t, I wake up shaped like a Tetris piece and angry at the sun. hahaha
I don’t know exactly when it was in my thirties, but at some point I realized that some people don’t feel isolated and alienated from everyone around them as their baseline experience, a fact I keep having to remind myself of. Some folks apparently *never* feel this way, and it boggles my mind. No, apparently most people *don’t* feel like they have a wall of glass between them and everyone else like you’re at the zoo and you have trouble telling who’s the observing who. I thought life for everyone was feeling ultimately alone the vast majority of the time, only rarely punctuated by flashes of human connection that flicker out pretty much immediately.
Im 36. I lived in California until i was 30. I had a very loving happy and idealistic childhood. My mother was a single mom most of my life. She worked hard and eventually became the VP of a large bank downtown so while I remember being told often i couldnt have things id randomly ask for as children do. I always had lots of presents under the tree. Grandparents that hosted large family holiday events. Cousins i grew up close with. Teachers cared about us. School wasnlike what you see in movies. The partying. Staying out until street lights came on.
I thought everyone grew up like this well into being 30. Then i moved to reno. And hardly anyone i meet grew up like that. It makes me feel bad. I wish everyone had the childhood i had.
I always do that, that’s anxiety???
That other people know better than I do. I came to trust my judgement, and my life improved.
Putting ketchup on a hot dog. Apparently it’s a no no in New England but I’ve lived here all my life and never heard of it? I still do it, but I realized how weird some people are about reacting to other people’s food lol.
Taking peoples unsolicited advice seriously and feeling like I had to excuse or explain a response to it.
I wasnt until 30s I learned you can just say “Thanks” and fully ignore them. You dont owe random people a justification or motivation just because they want to tell you what to do.
I’m an electrician. The work I do is top notch but not varied and it’s literally Groundhog Day every single job. Same type of customer due to the industry I work in (upscale solar). Same type of house. Same type of siding. All my days outside, sunny or threatening rain or snow, warm or cold. It was only recently that I was reminiscing about different oldtimers I’ve worked with over the years and it occurred to me, OH! THIS DOESN’T END, does it? As I’ve crossed 40, I see changes in my demeanor and I’m on my way to becoming the old guy, now. I haven’t saved hardly anything. Such an oh crap moment. I literally had zero notion of aging or future when I was in my 20s. My joints felt great and as that Kid Rock song once went, “My thoughts were short, my hair was long.” Now the decline of my parents and worries of financial security when I’m too old to work haunt me every night.
10 comments
The constantly feeling like I had to say yes to everything, extra work, social plans, random favors or else people would be mad at me turns out that wasn’t being a good person that was people pleasing with a side of burnout. Now I say no like it’s a full sentence. These taste better than approval. Now tell me y’all, is it just me?
I stretch now before bed on purpose. If I don’t, I wake up shaped like a Tetris piece and angry at the sun. hahaha
I don’t know exactly when it was in my thirties, but at some point I realized that some people don’t feel isolated and alienated from everyone around them as their baseline experience, a fact I keep having to remind myself of. Some folks apparently *never* feel this way, and it boggles my mind. No, apparently most people *don’t* feel like they have a wall of glass between them and everyone else like you’re at the zoo and you have trouble telling who’s the observing who. I thought life for everyone was feeling ultimately alone the vast majority of the time, only rarely punctuated by flashes of human connection that flicker out pretty much immediately.
Im 36. I lived in California until i was 30. I had a very loving happy and idealistic childhood. My mother was a single mom most of my life. She worked hard and eventually became the VP of a large bank downtown so while I remember being told often i couldnt have things id randomly ask for as children do. I always had lots of presents under the tree. Grandparents that hosted large family holiday events. Cousins i grew up close with. Teachers cared about us. School wasnlike what you see in movies. The partying. Staying out until street lights came on.
I thought everyone grew up like this well into being 30. Then i moved to reno. And hardly anyone i meet grew up like that. It makes me feel bad. I wish everyone had the childhood i had.
I always do that, that’s anxiety???
That other people know better than I do. I came to trust my judgement, and my life improved.
Putting ketchup on a hot dog. Apparently it’s a no no in New England but I’ve lived here all my life and never heard of it? I still do it, but I realized how weird some people are about reacting to other people’s food lol.
Taking peoples unsolicited advice seriously and feeling like I had to excuse or explain a response to it.
I wasnt until 30s I learned you can just say “Thanks” and fully ignore them. You dont owe random people a justification or motivation just because they want to tell you what to do.
I’m an electrician. The work I do is top notch but not varied and it’s literally Groundhog Day every single job. Same type of customer due to the industry I work in (upscale solar). Same type of house. Same type of siding. All my days outside, sunny or threatening rain or snow, warm or cold. It was only recently that I was reminiscing about different oldtimers I’ve worked with over the years and it occurred to me, OH! THIS DOESN’T END, does it? As I’ve crossed 40, I see changes in my demeanor and I’m on my way to becoming the old guy, now. I haven’t saved hardly anything. Such an oh crap moment. I literally had zero notion of aging or future when I was in my 20s. My joints felt great and as that Kid Rock song once went, “My thoughts were short, my hair was long.” Now the decline of my parents and worries of financial security when I’m too old to work haunt me every night.
not using hookers