AIO for wanting to cancel this date?

15 comments

1. It is hard to say and does sound a bit fishy.
   It could be that something has happened and you’ve just started messaging each other.
   I would give it the benefit of the doubt or talk it out during your first date, if it does happen 😀

2. What was the vague date and time he gave? And what was the specifics you replied with?

3. I think what you’re feeling is valid

4. A lot of people would say his behavior is fine, but any time I’ve had a communication shift like that it’s been them showing me what they will be like moving forward.

   I get very anxious when plans aren’t clear so it would be a no for me. I also hate “I am bad at checking this app/texts”. Then why are you on it? Why communicate with anyone if you aren’t going to bother making an effort?

   Either he’s a bad communicator or he’s not interested enough to care to follow up with you, either way it’s a bad sign and enough that I’d probably assume there is no date and move on.

5. It could be that your hunch is right, and it could be that he was online texting back and forth and then didn’t check it often. It’s impossible to say.

6. Ok, it’s ok that you first talk quite a bit back and forth intensely for a few days to see if you guys would click. And after logistics are decided it’s ok that people don’t talk or only sparing talk like once a day. Because you two aren’t in a relationship. And how he talks to you right now or how you talk to him right now isn’t the reflection of how you two would talk after you have met.

   However, it’s concerning that he has not provided you any venue or address info. But it’s nothing to sweat about. I’m usually the one that books the venue and everything because I know restaurants than most people and I can get great seats. I’m a head of your time zone and I have a date with my match tomorrow evening. It’s a third date. I bought movie tickets myself for two of us already a few hours ago. We’re gonna go see a movie. I haven’t booked a restaurant yet. And I’m just doing that now. And I’m ahead of your time zone so yes it’s not that bad, not a dealbreaker. Don’t worry too much.

   He could be busy and he may be swamped with something else. You never know what another person is doing especially you just met him. If I were you, by 2 pm your local time (in a few hours), if he hasn’t responded to you, send him a text; “Hey are we meeting tomorrow?” He should take that as a hint and he should text you back with restaurant info. If he didn’t for a long time then tell him “Hey I thought we are meeting tomorrow evening?” If he didn’t text you back then I would say forget him. At that point he’s rude. He should at least text you back after two attempts.

   I actually had to text this guy hey are we meeting tomorrow though he said he would text me back after we talked on Friday. And he texted me back with the restaurant info if I like it after I texted. I declined that restaurant he doesn’t known how to book restaurants it’s so far out of central locations I don’t know why he thought that was a good place. So I suggested alternative date plan. Some guys aren’t very good at arranging dates. So you can arrange dates too yourself. I usually arrange my own dates. I specify where to meet up etc. That way it’s guaranteed we would have great dates. I just focus on if we could click or I just observe him during date. But don’t worry too much. Just text him and see.

7. girl don’t go on a date that’s not fully planned

8. As a guy, if I’m into someone I will always make definite specific dates, this day, this time and this place. I might not text between then and the date but I will always be specific about getting together. So yeah, I think this guys behaviour is lame. Also if a woman I’m arranging to meet starts being vague, offering maybe dates etc, I will always say “sounds like you’re busy shall we do it another time?” It weeds out the time wasters.

9. Girl, trust me, he will get back to you with an excuse and that date will not happen.

   I have had a lot of experiences like that and they always end up cancelling.

10. Your gut feeling is correct – he’s a Fail – has basically ghosted you. Block him and move on is my advice.

11. Cancel. Way too much weirdness before even hanging out once.

12. Yeah don’t go

13. NOR He is a stranger. You have no idea why he is behaving this way. You only know that it doesn’t align with what you seek.

14. I am hoping that you do not go on this date.

    The minute I read “disappear” I knew it was a wrap. He has already shown you who he is. Believe him the very very first time. People always show you and we sometimes give “benefit of the doubt.”

    Instead, tell him that you are no longer interested and you focus on yourself and have yourself a good day. Take yourself out on a date and give yourself the damn love you deserve.

    This man is not worth your energy.

    You win every time you choose yourself over a man.

    And every single time you go out with a man, if he ever makes you FEEL like this to the point you have to question his behavior, especially on date one?! Then you know he’s not the ONE.

    It’s honestly the best gift someone can give you before diving in too deep.

15. but did you give him your number? I always give numbers to people I am going on dates. I dont talk on the app anymore after we set up a date.

    Also, h e is not in LONdon, how far away is he located? that does not give life partners vibes to me, but FWB or something like that…