How has your definition of “being successful as a woman” changed as you have grown older or experienced different phases of life?
September 19, 2025
How has your definition of “being successful as a woman” changed as you have grown older or experienced different phases of life?
8 comments
I’m only in mid 20s but reading this question made me realise that at no point until now did my idea of success involve joy that wasn’t attached to material belongings/experiences. Much to think about, thanks for this lol
Yes it has changed. I equate inner peace with success and no longer with goals to be accomplished like as if one were running in a rat race. If I look at my life and I’m content with it, as far relationships and careers go I’d say I’m finally successful.
I’m in my late 20’s now. Ived failed so much in life my vision of success has changed. But I’m also not even sure what success would even look like for me anymore as I’ve mentally just given up in life all together
I had planned on growing in a company and perhaps becoming a CEO. After getting my first and last management position in my late twenties, I realized I never wanted to manage another person again.
My goal now is to enjoy my personal life with hubby and kids and hope I save enough to eventually retire.
When I was in my 20’s, success meant being skinny, having a good salary, and getting promotions.
When I was in my 30’s, success meant learning who I really am… and bringing my husband and his kids closer together.
Now that I’m in my 40’s, success is being true to myself and being a good wife. Also:
If I need to cancel plans, I do.
If I am having a bad day, I admit it and take actions to help myself feel better.
If I am having a good day, I don’t temper my joy for the other people around me.
I don’t hide my weirdness anymore.
I work out so I am strong and flexible (important during perimenopause).
Sometimes I whine, sometimes I wallow, sometimes I dance, sometimes I sing loudly.
I really, really like being in my 40s and I feel really successful.
Edit to add, since I reread what I wrote… I guess when I was younger, success was what others saw, and now it’s what I feel.
Oh I was typical in my 20s thinking good credit, big house, new cars, restaurants several times a week were the only way to live. More stuff and harried schedules to prove I was grinding. Well the Great Recession put a stop to all that as I watched at 32yo everything I had worked so hard for get taken away in a year. All of a sudden the money I spent on all the restaurants and new cars bought on a whim was not there to save me and it was such a long hard and depressing road to get back to a semblance of a basic life.
Now in my 40s I sit on my new porch on my paid off modest house doing my work tasks and scrolling Reddit listening to the morning sounds and loving my simple life and garden. Still don’t make anywhere near what I used to but having our little business where every morning is a slow one like this, I can ride my bike or walk downtown later for fun, play in my garden, or just do nothing if I choose is my version of success. Debt-free (well now the lovely medical bills are here, but other than that), simple life, older but reliable vehicles, control of my schedule is priceless.
To me, success as a woman means independence and doing whatever I want regardless of where other people are in their life. Every once in a while I become envious of women who have characteristics I want but feel like I lack, or have reached a milestone I’d like to achieve, but then I remind myself that that comparison is the thief of joy and if I want something, I have to go get it. Success is focusing on myself and my happiness and letting others follow their own path. I used to be very rigid about what I wanted for my career and things like home decor, friends, and hobbies, but as I get older, I’ve chilled out with the understanding that this is my one life and having strict expectations would lead to disappointment like it has in the past.
It has changed because I scrapped my definition for it and now focus on what I want for my life and what that means to me. Hanging on to generalized standards made me miserable in the past, so I make my own -very flexible and self love rooted- definitions and don’t care whether anyone agrees or finds them/me lacking. 🙂 I’m 42 btw
8 comments
I’m only in mid 20s but reading this question made me realise that at no point until now did my idea of success involve joy that wasn’t attached to material belongings/experiences. Much to think about, thanks for this lol
Yes it has changed. I equate inner peace with success and no longer with goals to be accomplished like as if one were running in a rat race. If I look at my life and I’m content with it, as far relationships and careers go I’d say I’m finally successful.
I’m in my late 20’s now. Ived failed so much in life my vision of success has changed. But I’m also not even sure what success would even look like for me anymore as I’ve mentally just given up in life all together
I had planned on growing in a company and perhaps becoming a CEO. After getting my first and last management position in my late twenties, I realized I never wanted to manage another person again.
My goal now is to enjoy my personal life with hubby and kids and hope I save enough to eventually retire.
When I was in my 20’s, success meant being skinny, having a good salary, and getting promotions.
When I was in my 30’s, success meant learning who I really am… and bringing my husband and his kids closer together.
Now that I’m in my 40’s, success is being true to myself and being a good wife. Also:
If I need to cancel plans, I do.
If I am having a bad day, I admit it and take actions to help myself feel better.
If I am having a good day, I don’t temper my joy for the other people around me.
I don’t hide my weirdness anymore.
I work out so I am strong and flexible (important during perimenopause).
Sometimes I whine, sometimes I wallow, sometimes I dance, sometimes I sing loudly.
I really, really like being in my 40s and I feel really successful.
Edit to add, since I reread what I wrote… I guess when I was younger, success was what others saw, and now it’s what I feel.
Oh I was typical in my 20s thinking good credit, big house, new cars, restaurants several times a week were the only way to live. More stuff and harried schedules to prove I was grinding. Well the Great Recession put a stop to all that as I watched at 32yo everything I had worked so hard for get taken away in a year. All of a sudden the money I spent on all the restaurants and new cars bought on a whim was not there to save me and it was such a long hard and depressing road to get back to a semblance of a basic life.
Now in my 40s I sit on my new porch on my paid off modest house doing my work tasks and scrolling Reddit listening to the morning sounds and loving my simple life and garden. Still don’t make anywhere near what I used to but having our little business where every morning is a slow one like this, I can ride my bike or walk downtown later for fun, play in my garden, or just do nothing if I choose is my version of success. Debt-free (well now the lovely medical bills are here, but other than that), simple life, older but reliable vehicles, control of my schedule is priceless.
To me, success as a woman means independence and doing whatever I want regardless of where other people are in their life. Every once in a while I become envious of women who have characteristics I want but feel like I lack, or have reached a milestone I’d like to achieve, but then I remind myself that that comparison is the thief of joy and if I want something, I have to go get it. Success is focusing on myself and my happiness and letting others follow their own path. I used to be very rigid about what I wanted for my career and things like home decor, friends, and hobbies, but as I get older, I’ve chilled out with the understanding that this is my one life and having strict expectations would lead to disappointment like it has in the past.
It has changed because I scrapped my definition for it and now focus on what I want for my life and what that means to me. Hanging on to generalized standards made me miserable in the past, so I make my own -very flexible and self love rooted- definitions and don’t care whether anyone agrees or finds them/me lacking. 🙂 I’m 42 btw