When did you realize being “busy” wasn’t a flex anymore?
September 19, 2025
Being constantly booked used to feel cool. Now it feels like burnout. Is it just me? Haha
24 comments
It hit me when I had an open weekend for the first time in months and instead of feeling FOMO, I felt peace. Haha. Walks, cooking slow meals, catching up with myself turns out that version of “busy” fills me up more than any calendar ever did.
I used to brag about running on four hours of sleep and three meetings before noon now if I have more than one social planning in the weekend, I canceled one just emotionally prepare for the other😂
Never thought it was one to begin with.
Provided your financial situation is decent or even good, having copious amounts of spare time is the ultimate flex to me.
After all, it used to be one of the hallmarks of aristocracy.
I’m not envious of billionaires, I’m envious of people who make a great living without even needing to work full time. Or those for whom “work” is more akin to a hobby than anything else.
When I told that to my boss after he assigned a pet project to me. Apparently this was a drop-everything-do-this-now sort of gig. Geez! 😬
Never got seduced by this. I have a close friend who’s been on the “I’m a big busy adult with big stressful adult things to do” thing since we were like 18. Seemed like a bad way to live to me then, and he’s finally reckoning with the cost of it now. He’s the kind of person who has to set an alarm in order to relax. I see it as a form of anxiety more than anything.
I’ve had the opposite problem more in my life; keeping my calendar too open to avoid feeling tied down. I feel like I’m finally at a good medium of having enough free time to feel alive, but enough engagement and responsibility to not feel like I’m rotting in isolation. It’s a hard balance to hit, and I think one that people can spend their whole lives getting right.
Aged about 40. It was at that age that I began to fully understand the concepts of ‘busy fools’ and ‘work smart not hard’.
Quite early. Parents were always busy. They spilled that onto me. There was always something to do, to do better and to make me quit something if it had no “legitimate purpose”.
Example – musical school. I have a fairly good ear, had some knack for harmonics and musical theory…. but as soon as I showed interest in it as a hobby, for playing in a rock band of something, it was over. That was not acceptable.
Context matters here.
“Can’t, I’m going camping.” 💪
“Can’t, I’m boutta eat mushrooms.” 💪
“Can’t, I’m getting some puh.” 💪
Versus
“Can’t, I’m my boss’s little bitch boy.” 🤡
“Can’t, I gotta go record TikToks in the gym.” 🤡
“Can’t, I’m gaming with my incel friends.” 🤡
Never seen it as a flex but of you are constantly busy doing thighs you love.. I still think that’s pretty cool
When I was actually so busy I didn’t have anybody to flex with anymore.
Ha! Great question. I realised – thankfully in my 20s – when my ***brilliant*** manager and mentor told me
– ***I never trust someone that claims they’re busy. The people I want on my team are the sneaky, devious bastards that get other people to do their work for them!***
After burnout I realized its a bad lifestyle and lack of self awareness to wear busyness as a batch of bravery.
Now I look up to folks that seem relaxed and still make good cash somehow.
About 8 years old I guess
Tbh I’ve always been like that. I like being lazy. Why would I subject myself to the hustle culture? To buy a few years newer but still second-hand car? Get real.
Covid.
Oh my god that was an amazing slow life time. I want my life to be that slow forever.
I’m sick of being busy with work, because I have to. I like the busy of making memories.
For me working a job doesn’t improve quality of life. I’ve recognized that since I was about 15.
Now (31m) that I am 3 years with my GF and she asks for more time together
I never allowed myself to be that busy. I do not allow things into my life that take away my autonomy. No kids, no pets. I have a good career but I consider myself a strictly 9-5 worker. I keep the lights on and do what I’m paid to do. When I’m off the clock I couldn’t care less about work.
The ability to compartmentalize certainly helps.
I’m sure I will get downvoted but something I have learned in life is that when my home life is extremely grounded, working hard at work feels easy. If everything in my outside life is bad, the smallest issues at work feel overwhelming. In my opinion you can avoid burn out if you focus on this
Work, shower, cook dinner, clean up, play with animals.
Its already time to start getting ready for bed.
Weekend: household chores, grocery shop, meal prep lunch for the week ahead, 1 social event 😅.
I dont even do anything and I feel booked most of the time.
This cant be “life” 😒
Never got caught up in this tbh. I always felt sad for the people who did.
I have never thought being busy was a flex. It was just a statement of fact, and if anyone ever meant to impress me with it, they failed every time.
I just never felt that way. I don’t want to be involved in much of anything to be honest.
24 comments
It hit me when I had an open weekend for the first time in months and instead of feeling FOMO, I felt peace. Haha. Walks, cooking slow meals, catching up with myself turns out that version of “busy” fills me up more than any calendar ever did.
I used to brag about running on four hours of sleep and three meetings before noon now if I have more than one social planning in the weekend, I canceled one just emotionally prepare for the other😂
Never thought it was one to begin with.
Provided your financial situation is decent or even good, having copious amounts of spare time is the ultimate flex to me.
After all, it used to be one of the hallmarks of aristocracy.
I’m not envious of billionaires, I’m envious of people who make a great living without even needing to work full time. Or those for whom “work” is more akin to a hobby than anything else.
When I told that to my boss after he assigned a pet project to me. Apparently this was a drop-everything-do-this-now sort of gig. Geez! 😬
Never got seduced by this. I have a close friend who’s been on the “I’m a big busy adult with big stressful adult things to do” thing since we were like 18. Seemed like a bad way to live to me then, and he’s finally reckoning with the cost of it now. He’s the kind of person who has to set an alarm in order to relax. I see it as a form of anxiety more than anything.
I’ve had the opposite problem more in my life; keeping my calendar too open to avoid feeling tied down. I feel like I’m finally at a good medium of having enough free time to feel alive, but enough engagement and responsibility to not feel like I’m rotting in isolation. It’s a hard balance to hit, and I think one that people can spend their whole lives getting right.
Aged about 40. It was at that age that I began to fully understand the concepts of ‘busy fools’ and ‘work smart not hard’.
Quite early. Parents were always busy. They spilled that onto me. There was always something to do, to do better and to make me quit something if it had no “legitimate purpose”.
Example – musical school. I have a fairly good ear, had some knack for harmonics and musical theory…. but as soon as I showed interest in it as a hobby, for playing in a rock band of something, it was over. That was not acceptable.
Context matters here.
“Can’t, I’m going camping.” 💪
“Can’t, I’m boutta eat mushrooms.” 💪
“Can’t, I’m getting some puh.” 💪
Versus
“Can’t, I’m my boss’s little bitch boy.” 🤡
“Can’t, I gotta go record TikToks in the gym.” 🤡
“Can’t, I’m gaming with my incel friends.” 🤡
Never seen it as a flex but of you are constantly busy doing thighs you love.. I still think that’s pretty cool
When I was actually so busy I didn’t have anybody to flex with anymore.
Ha! Great question. I realised – thankfully in my 20s – when my ***brilliant*** manager and mentor told me
– ***I never trust someone that claims they’re busy. The people I want on my team are the sneaky, devious bastards that get other people to do their work for them!***
After burnout I realized its a bad lifestyle and lack of self awareness to wear busyness as a batch of bravery.
Now I look up to folks that seem relaxed and still make good cash somehow.
About 8 years old I guess
Tbh I’ve always been like that. I like being lazy. Why would I subject myself to the hustle culture? To buy a few years newer but still second-hand car? Get real.
Covid.
Oh my god that was an amazing slow life time. I want my life to be that slow forever.
I’m sick of being busy with work, because I have to. I like the busy of making memories.
For me working a job doesn’t improve quality of life. I’ve recognized that since I was about 15.
Now (31m) that I am 3 years with my GF and she asks for more time together
I never allowed myself to be that busy. I do not allow things into my life that take away my autonomy. No kids, no pets. I have a good career but I consider myself a strictly 9-5 worker. I keep the lights on and do what I’m paid to do. When I’m off the clock I couldn’t care less about work.
The ability to compartmentalize certainly helps.
I’m sure I will get downvoted but something I have learned in life is that when my home life is extremely grounded, working hard at work feels easy. If everything in my outside life is bad, the smallest issues at work feel overwhelming. In my opinion you can avoid burn out if you focus on this
Work, shower, cook dinner, clean up, play with animals.
Its already time to start getting ready for bed.
Weekend: household chores, grocery shop, meal prep lunch for the week ahead, 1 social event 😅.
I dont even do anything and I feel booked most of the time.
This cant be “life” 😒
Never got caught up in this tbh. I always felt sad for the people who did.
I have never thought being busy was a flex. It was just a statement of fact, and if anyone ever meant to impress me with it, they failed every time.
I just never felt that way. I don’t want to be involved in much of anything to be honest.
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