Hi guys – 30 F here.

This is going to be a little bit long, sorry in advance.

I am in college, studying psych. We are together in the same major, entering the second year. So i've known him since a year now. We always hang out with the same group of friends (we are 5 psych students). At the end of last year, i realised i was attracted to him. We were waiting for our friends, and were alone together at a bar, and we looked at eachother like, the kind of look where you feel all your organs are falling down – or butterflies, whatever lol. Since then I've been a bit hooked. After this college year, we went on vacation together with the same group of friends. On this week, we had a looot of eye contacts (the not smiling ones) (and one very impactful on a side mirror of a car, me behing, him on the passenger's seat on the front, that was intense cinema like, basically very tense sexually, at least on my side LOL).

He is 24, so a bit young for me. He broke up with is long distance gf idk 8 months ago (she lives in another country) but seems still in love or at least attached. Since then, he had a situationship with a girl, but ended it two weeks ago because he didn't like her enough, felt smthing was off. I say situationship because it was not only sex, they went on dates, cinema, things like this. He had a hard time doing it but stopped it "fair and square".

He is the kind of guy who is quiet introverted, very shy in the past, he still is but a bit less. He told us (me and the group of friends) that he actually never makes the first move with a girl and lets her do it first. He is also very flirty, in a seduction vibe with everyone.

I say this because he always looks into the eyes of its interlocuter, smiles, sometimes bites his lips. Its odd but he gives a seduction vibe, big time. This is mainly why i'm explaining my situation to you guys. I am fkn lost loooool

In college, he is always near me, leans, touches my arm with his, walks with me and such. The eye contact continued, even with the eyes dropping near my mouth.

Since i realised i was into him, I tried, sometimes not even consciouslly, to let him know without words. On vacation, a lot of eye contact happened. He told my friends (i was not here at the moment) that i was the one that surprised him the most during the vacation (since it was the first time we went together, it was a bit new and we knew eachother but on a shallow level still) – we also talked ( as a group) the same night, about what we imagine our next partner will do as a job. The first thing he answered is " i dont want someone who does psych too ; then said "idk like a doctor or a lawyer" " ; at this point i was like ok i'm cooked. later this night, he came to keep me company as I was cooking, and told me that (refering to a friend whos dating a guy a bit mentally unstable, meaning he is depressed and anxious) selfishly, he coudlnt date someone that feels bad, that has a mental disorder. I was like ok i'm double cooked since I have depression and anxiety (i take antidepressants). Although i'm quiet stable atm, i'm not the most STABLE emotionnaly. But i'm fine globally, at least now and since a few years.

He also did stuff (still does) like ask me to help him write messages (when he doesnt know how to write smthing or is anxious about how he should tell things to his boss for instance) – or ask me to but HIS STUFF is MY tote bag.

Fastfoward to the last week. It's back to school week.

As i'm sorting out by bag saying " its a mess in here", i see him watching me from above. ( i'm sitting on a bench and he is standing). On my bag, i find my rings, i put them on. He says "your rings are nice, i like the style." and a few seconds later, "i like your outfit, its nice".

When we talk, we always look into our eyes and smile. We very often sit next to eachother, and he always sits very close. It's very disturbing. Since I told you, he is very friendly, always sits very close to his friends, his notions of limits is a bit odd ahha. But he does this with me a lot. For instance, yesterday i happened to be talking to my ex (we are separated since 4 years but are in good terms, so we take news sometimes) He gave me a elbow bump and looked at me smiling. Like the dude watches what i'm doing on my phone lolllll.

On the subway, we were with our friend. He was standing in front of me, leaning towards me. He asked me if my internship near his place was happening, told me "it would be nice, i could come and pick you, then we would go for drinks ; and then you could meet my friends! " (i answred yeah would be nice) – i was a bit disturbed since we always hang out as a group of 5, i didnt understand why I could meet his friends (like, why me, why not others from the group, and our other friend was here)

On tuesday, we were on the subway, going home. We like 4 stations appart so we do come home together from class. He monologued from college to his station ( i didnt ask him anything lolll ) about how is parents are doing ( mum situation, dad situation ), how he sees his life after graduation, how he wants to have roomates before he finds i quote him ' the love of his life', then wants to get married, have kids, move the somewhere near the beach and get a boat. Then I asked him about how it was going with is ex (he refered to her as we were talking). He talked about it, told me that its friendly now ; he told me he's quiet happy atm, being alone, "open to new encounters". When he told me this, i said : "new era, new netflix season" ; then he answered while i turned to him, smiled, keeped eye contact and said "maybe new twists and turns'.

At this moment i thought there was somting. But he drives me nuts.

Today, he texted me (we never text, and i think at this point its a good thing lol) to ask me if i was going to class because there is transports issues. Very simple and straightfoward convo, nothing special, he told me " i see you next week then"

but at the end i asked him if he was feeling better since i didnt feel quiet good yesterday (tired, headache, anoyed w/ class). He answered : " yes i'm feeling better 🙂 " and one minute later "you're nice" with a smiley/blushy closed eyes emoji (that i cannot paste in here for some reason). I was a bit happy receiving this, so i answered "good then", then, "i know 💁‍♀️ ", then " you too are nice, Justin" (lets imagine hes called justin lol)

And then, he answered, i have to translate it since i'm not in an english speaking country …

"lmaoo"

that's it. God damn it.

I can give you info about how i look. i'm thirty, pretty but not a bomb, nice body with shapes i guess. brown hair and green eyes, i sometime feels i'm way out of his league. Even though his ex looks good, she's pretty but pretty average, although quiet thin, a dancer. He is quiet short, very very thin, always nicely dressed, blue eyes and nice brown hair, lods of charm is the eyes.

I have no idea what to do. his he just playing ??? im SO LOST HE DRIVES ME NUTS. this morning with the messages i went throught a fking roller coaster. yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaannooo. No

help

thank you <3


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