I (28F) have been with my boyfriend (34M) for about 6 months. At the start, he seemed like he had it together, confident, good at communicating, fun. But lately I feel resentful, and I don’t know if this is just a rough patch or if it means we’re not compatible long-term.
He’s at mine 6–7 nights a week but doesn’t contribute much. He rarely cooks, doesn’t buy food, and leaves his empty pill packets in my drawers. He spends a lot of time on his phone, even when my friends are over. When I bring it up, he listens in the moment but goes back to old habits. I sometimes feel like I have to teach him basic manners, like sharing food, engaging socially, or tidying up after himself.
He has epilepsy, and while I understand that impacts him, it often feels like an excuse when I ask for more effort. When I’m stressed, I want a partner who steps up, but I usually end up managing things myself.
There are good parts too. He supports my small business by sharing my posts and putting up flyers, he’s bought concert tickets, we laugh a lot, and he does make plans for us. But the day-to-day partnership feels heavy, like I’m the adult in the relationship.
I’m at the point where I can picture having kids in the next few years, and honestly, I don’t know if I can trust him to be an equal parent. I feel like I’d be raising both him and the kids.
I’ve been through breakups before and I always get to this point of doubt, but this time I can’t tell if it’s just the “6 month itch” or if my gut is telling me it’s not right.
How do I know if I’m expecting too much, or if I’m settling for someone who won’t ever really step up? Has anyone been here and figured out the right call?
TL;DR: Been with my boyfriend (34M) for 6 months. He’s supportive in some ways (shares my business, makes plans, we laugh), but day-to-day I feel like the parent he doesn’t contribute much at mine, spends too much time on his phone, and makes excuses. I’m starting to resent him and can’t picture him stepping up as a future partner or dad. Not sure if this is normal 6 month doubts or a sign it’s not right.