I am in a loving, healthy relationship and continue to let my anxieties tell me I’m being cheated on. I don’t have any reason other than my past trauma, and I need to know it’s possible for a man to NOT cheat. I’m constantly scrolling through social media seeing women being cheated on DAILY, so it’s hard to not project that. Let me know if it’s possible for a man to be in a long term relationship and not cheat!!
47 comments
52M. Married for 15 years. LTR for 7. Many partners before marriage. Never cheated and never will. And the last few years of marriage were sexless 😖
I’ve never cheated and never will!
If you’re constantly seeing posts about people cheating, maybe the algorithm is showing you stuff like that because you search for it / engage with it… So stop engaging with it for one.
And ya, 39m here, never cheated on a partner.
Talk with your partner, let them help you with your anxieties and insecurities. Better yet, talk with a therapist about it. I have never, and will never do that to someone because I know what it’s like to be on the other end and I would NEVER make someone go through that pain.
33m together with current girlfriend since late April, minus a few weeks late July/early August after I learned about some of her decisions related to the relationship. But we’re doing better, communicating more, communicating better I feel, and I believe we’re better now than we were. And plus, we’re approaching just about everything like adults, which I kinda hate that it feels like it has to be said but it’s 2025 after all…
Also, men don’t cheat. Boys do.
Never cheated on a partner. Was married for eleven years and together almost 14. Ended in divorce for non-cheating reasons. I don’t get people who cheat.
Please go see a therapist before you self-sabotage yourself out of a great relationship.
– from someone this exact scenario has happened to
Therapy does much more to address this than posting about it on social media.
Not a man but yes of course it is possible. A lot of men cheat. A lot of men do not.
The rates of cheating are higher for men but not as dramatically as you might think.
I think this is a you problem – you are obsessing over this. You need to try to address this with a therapist if you are constantly worried he is cheating w/o evidence of it.
I also don’t know a single guy in my personal life who has cheated on their girlfriend.
I’m a man, I don’t have much relationship experience, but I have never once found the idea of cheating palatable. Even the thought of a loving partner who would be very into me seeing other people in some sort of ENM situation is disturbing to my monogamous brain.
Social media is cancer. It will only feed you what the algorithm thinks will get a reaction out of you.
Pro tip: if you see something on social media or even any news story that makes you feel ANY strong feelings, the algorithm is probably just trying to manipulate you into engagement. The vast majority of life’s situations can be taken at face value, and most people are normal, average, and peak of the bell curve.
That said, ask yourself this: what would have to happen for you to be 100% confident your man isn’t cheating? Be specific. “I would have to see this specific piece of evidence”, something like that. If you can’t, you may just be letting some external factor manipulate you into insecurity.
You need to focus on your relationship and your partner and ignore the outside noise. My husband has never for one second given me a reason to doubt him, I am 1000% confident he would never cheat. He expresses no interest in other women, doesn’t check them out in public and chooses to spend all his non-work time hanging out with my and our friends. All this to say, unless your partner is giving you a reason not to trust him, you should trust him. If you can’t trust him then just break up, because a relationship without trust is dead in the water.
31m been in 6 relationships, married and divorced once, never cheated.
If you’re feeling unsure, definitely talk to him about it. The right partner would ease your mind and the wrong partner will make it worse/leave you
It’s about your own code and values, I’ve never cheated, I could more times than I’d like, but decided not to do it, even if the relationship wasn’t good. I rather ending up things before cheating. I had a gf who cheated me once and I wouldn’t like to do the same thing to other woman
>other than my past trauma
You can’t let the sins of past boyfriends dictate how you act and treat future ones.
Men and women cheat because they want to. If they are in a relationship that they love and respect the person, they will make the decision to never cheat on them. It’s pretty simple.
“Dr.” Google says in the USA approximately 20% of married men cheat – so definitely in the minority (but not a super small minority). Maybe time to relocate….
Still mighty.
Yes, men Who don’t cheat exist. They’re among our friends’ and relative’s partner. Try to think about it as an exercise
I had a relation with my now ex-wife for 10 years and it never crossed my mind once.
Cheated one time when I was 20. Worst feeling ever. Never did it again. Makes you feel like such a fake piece of trash. It’s crazy how people do it without thinking twice
I’ve never cheated. Been cheated on (sorta) in highschool. But never cheated
I am a man who has never cheated
Are we assembling a club here? Do we get T-shirts?
We are out there. 35M never cheated never will. I think a big reason you see mostly toxic relationships on social media is because the people enjoying the healthy ones don’t feel the need to post online. They don’t need to vent about their partner, and they can talk to their partner about the other stresses in their lives. It creates a false view that things are worse than they are.
Sensational garbage is what gets clicks on social media. Decency doesn’t sell nearly as well.
There are a lot of cheaters out there but if you don’t have any actual proof leading you to believe someone is cheating on you then there’s no reason for you to believe it’s happening.
This is a strange post. It’s like going to a mechanic sub and saying “Everyone whose car isn’t broken down check in! All I see are broken down cars on here so I think my car might be broken down!”
Lots of people have never cheated. I think you need to take a break from social media, seriously.
37M, Never even come close to cheating. If a relationship/partner isn’t meeting my needs (in any applicable area) and we can’t work it out, I simply end the relationship before the desire to seek outside even arises.
I’ve never cheated!
But I have been cheated on, both blatantly and hidden. Those people weren’t for me anyways.
I’m single now but I encourage everyone to be their best
36M married for 5yrs and never cheated. If you feel like you need to cheat just leave the relationship/marriage at that point. No need for extra drama. Plus, I barely have time with what I have in life why bring someone else in the mix.
Don’t be a punk, man up and move on. Don’t disrespect women with your stupid shit.
Never cheated and never will.
32m. 4 longterm relationships and i have never been the cheater. You are being shown those videos because thats what you keep watching. The loudest voice is the one heard on social media, doesnt mean all men cheat or even think about cheating for that matter.
GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA & READ A BOOK!
Inputs equals outputs.
If you feed your mind crap, you will have crappy thoughts.
Please do not sabotage your relationship. You are enough.
I will tell you this, and I believe it firmly: The more you worry and the more insecurity you show, the more likely a man will either lose respect and fall for another.
Men want to feel loved, respected, secure. Men do not want insecurity and a woman whose anxiety has created an anxious attached stage 5 clinger. It is exhausting and so unattractive.
That behavior leads to, unknown to the attached, doubts and eventually pushes a man away. I would know. I was on the precipice of being that man and at the edge of it.
I had to call off a 10 year relationship for her to really work on herself, because it brought out my worst traits.. and now I’m drowning in life and debt and misery because I don’t have a partner. Because I chose to respect myself and her.
Yes, I’m shopping around for fun.. but I’m not actually engaged in anything or having intercourse. People are all broken, damaged, selfish.. men and women, although the latter contributes to the problem more. Interesting seeing how social dynamics have played out.
tl;dr.. Do not lose yourself. Love yourself. Respect his space. If he cheats, he cheats.. but if you love yourself, then you’ll be able to handle it better.
BTW, Define cheating cause alot of them think that only refers to penetration. Ask em how many of them sub to OF, have a corn addiction, have a spank bank saved in their phones , have work wives , have wandering eyes , sext strangers , flirt with strangers etc while in a relationship
I have never cheated. 35M and I’ve only been single for 3 years since I was 17 (I only date seriously)
I should point out that every relationship I’ve been in except this one I have been cheated on so I would take a year or 2 off of dating after that so I didn’t carry that bitterness into my future
I am a woman, but let me assure you that not all men cheat!!
I divorced my husband and I can bet my life that he has never cheated on me. Not his personality. Too honest and direct, too lazy, he’s very loyal when he loves anyone etc. We grew apart from other points of view.
But what I meant to say is that people are different! People have different personalities and values. Learn to analyse those and how to make sure that you are choosing your partner wisely.
Cheating is the biggest way to disrespect someone in any way. I rather be alone or lose than cheat for a moment and have that in my brain.
I’ve never cheated before in any of my relationships. I live by “treat others the way you want to be treated” so why cheat on my partner if I wouldn’t want to be cheated on?
Never cheated, M31
Well, 26m, been in two relationships and didn’t cheat – I categorically reject it. However, I got cheated on multiple times
It’s the algorithm showing you content because you engage with it – the more you engage with it (are outraged) the more you will be shown such content. Guess what happens on the other side? If we start to engage with misogynist content we keep getting more of it -> red pill -> gender divide -> gender war
Social media and capitalist outrage manufacturing is hurting society
I’ve been cheated on in every major relationship I’ve had (two 7+ year marriages and one 11 month girlfriend).
I have never ever cheated.
🙋♂️
I have some very harsh views of cheaters and people that are unfaithful for ANY reason. I am in too loving of a relationship and honestly, I am too stupid to cheat. Too much deviousness for my simple mind to conjure up.
Most guys don’t even have the option of cheating. It is hard enough to find one woman to date you, much less multiple.
Never will cheat. I get anxious when I take home extra fruit from work lmao
Cheating would kill me from the stress on the spot
I’ve had 3 seperate 3 year relationships and haven’t cheated on anyone – despite my first gf cheating on me and it resulting in our breakup. Plenty of guys don’t cheat it’s not that hard
your paranoia is going to ruin a good thing. Therapy.