This isn’t my story but my cousin’s. He has no idea I’m writing this, but I need to let it out. Keeping it in feels like I’ll explode, and honestly, I don’t know what to tell him anymore. I’m hoping for advice.
Me (20M) and my cousin John (22M) live in the same house and basically grew up together. We’re really close since we’re the only grandsons in the family. Out of eight grandchildren, six are girls. Me and John even share the same room, and we tell each other everything.
John met his best friend George (23M) back in high school. They’ve been close for 10 years now. Their friend group also includes Andy (22M) and Tim (22M). They used to visit our house for school projects, and they still come by to practice music. Sometimes we’d all have lunch together. These four were inseparable, like brothers. They even took the same college course in Information Technology. My sisters jokingly call them “F4” or the “Four Musketeers.”
John met his girlfriend, Shantal (21F), at church. She was active, sang in the music group, and studied at Northeastern College in Santiago City, taking up a Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. Her family also hosts small Sunday services at their home.
The youth group had been advised not to enter relationships, since failed ones could cause problems. This applied even more strongly to John and Shantal, since both were looked up to by the younger ones. Still, after knowing each other for two years, they began dating in 2021.
For John, this was serious. Shantal was his first girlfriend. For her, it was different. John was already her fourth boyfriend. On her 18th birthday, she broke up with her then-boyfriend and asked John to dance with her that same night. That’s how it started.
Their relationship grew, and two years ago, John (20 at the time) proposed. Shantal said yes. They’ve been engaged ever since. He thought she was “the one,” and our whole family believed it too.
At first, everything seemed fine. John introduced Shantal to his friends, and they all blended well. They ate out together, played games, and served in the group band. John and Shantal sang, George was on drums, and Andy and Tim played guitar.
But things began to change this year.
On August 24, John came home late. His face was red, he had chills, and when I asked if he was okay, he just said he was tired. In the weeks after, I noticed a huge change. He became quiet, stopped eating, and even shook sometimes. It worried me because he had recently been in an accident and had stitches on his head. I feared it might be medical, so I asked if he needed to go to the hospital. That’s when he finally opened up.
He told me that on August 24, Shantal broke up with him. The next morning, he went to her boarding house hoping to fix things, but instead he found men’s clothes in her room and h!ck3ys on her neck. When he asked why, she said he “didn’t have time for her.” The truth? He had been working part-time to afford dates and constantly worried about her, since she often threatened su!c!d3 if she didn’t get what she wanted. He even neglected his studies for her.
The following weeks were terrible. He couldn’t eat or sleep, he cried often, and sometimes he would suddenly struggle to breathe. I didn’t know what to do, so I told his sister Bianca (23F). She reminded him it wasn’t his fault, and she suspected Shantal had already been seeing someone else. She said there’s no way Shantal could have broken up one day and had another man the very next morning unless it had already been going on.
Then, just recently, John received messages on Facebook from an anonymous account. The messages included 3xpl!c!t screenshots of chats between users with Shantal’s and George’s profile pictures (names were cropped out), plus video call recordings that showed their g3n!tals. The sender blurred George’s side but left Shantal’s face and body visible. John saved some files before the account deleted everything.
That’s when the truth hit. Shantal had been involved with George for at least three months.
When John confronted George, George claimed Shantal told him she and John were already over. But the timestamps on the chats proved otherwise. To make things worse, George had been bragging vaguely to Andy and Tim about a girl he was “spending time with at night.” When they checked his gaming history, it lined up with Shantal. Andy and Tim also admitted this wasn’t the first time. George had a habit of going after his friends’ girlfriends.
John also confronted Shantal at her boarding house, telling her he knew the truth. She made excuses and told him not to tell her family or else she’d commit su!c!d3. Around that time, her landlady called her parents and said she often had male visitors late at night. When her mother heard this, she called John and accused him instead. Out of love and misplaced loyalty, John didn’t defend himself. He didn’t tell them about the cheating, didn’t show the evidence, and even deleted the files.
That’s what hurts me the most. John is still protecting her. He’s covering for someone who betrayed him with his closest friend. She still sings at church, while living another life in private. Meanwhile, John suffers in silence.
I don’t know what to do anymore. He’s been engaged to her for two years, and now everything is ruined. He’s heartbroken, sleepless, barely eating, and sometimes I’m scared he’ll break down completely.
So, Reddit… how do I help him heal from this? Do I convince him to finally expose what happened so he can get closure? Or do I just keep being there for him while he tries to forget? He deserves better, but right now, he’s too broken to see it.