I (27F) have been seeing this guy (29M) for almost 2 months. We met volunteering and I felt like the universe brought us together, which is silly I know. I even asked the universe for a sign that me and him were “meant to be” and the universe delivered this very specific sign. I NEVER ask for signs from the universe so I was actually shocked lol. Again, silly I know. It all just felt so perfect. We align on goals, childhoods, personalities, interests. We’re different enough that there’s a lot to learn about each other, but similar enough that we have lots to bond over. He even said himself that the chemistry we have together is “on another level”. However, we both said that the timing was not ideal because he’s so busy with work and I was moving away temporarily. But we decided to see where it goes.
It’s mostly been long distance as I moved away last month, but I intend on moving back soon. I am currently visiting town for a few weeks and I was really excited to spend some quality time with him. He initially made a ton of plans with me which was nice because my previous relationships were often people that either never wanted to make plans, or the plans would always just be talk. Well, I guess he’s not that different because he is almost constantly cancelling plans with me. I totally get it, he’s a very busy guy with a demanding job as a teacher. However, I’ve certainly noticed a pattern where he cancels on me because he’s tired, but he never cancels his other commitments. I am not someone to ask someone to cancel on their friends instead of me, but I just feel confused and hurt because I do not feel like a priority at all. I think it’s awesome when people I date hangout with their friends a lot, however, it just stings because I’m only here for a bit and I’m always getting cancelled on.
The problem really stems in the whiplash. He’ll be up texting me all these future plans, or about how our parenting styles align. He’ll talk about plans for our relationship and talk about all the things he’s excited to do with me down the line. He sends me love poems and music and tells me very intimate stuff. And then the next day he is MIA and then will cancel our plans. I’m not mad at him for being busy, I think I’m just confused because he seems so intimate and invested one moment, but then distant the next and has no problem not seeing me, but he doesn’t cancel on anyone else. I feel like if he’s not genuinely interested, he should just tell me instead of making all these plans and talking to me on such a deeply intimate level. If he was genuinely interested, wouldn’t he be excited to see me? I know I certainly get excited to see him. I carve time out of my schedule for him, I just wish he would do the same.
I told myself after my last few relationships, that the next person I date would have to be as sure about me as I am about them, if not more. I just think it would be nice if someone wanted to spend time with me and was consistent with their words and actions. I’m also not asking to spend every second together. I just think like once a week would be nice. I guess I’m just wondering if I should end it before I get more invested?
Tl;dr: the guy I’m seeing seems to cancel on me a lot, but he never cancels on his other commitments. I don’t feel like a priority and I feel hurt because his words do not line up with his actions. He’s very busy so I get it, but I still feel hurt and confused.