I’m 29F and was seeing a guy (30M) for about a month. On our fourth date, I invited him to my place and after agreeing to be exclusive, we had sex. However, just days later he admitted he wasn’t ready to be exclusive and only agreed so we could have sex. We were technically “together” for about a week after that.
Early on, I asked him if he was still in contact with his ex, and he said no, but he still had her on Instagram. When I asked if he’d remove her if he entered a relationship, he said that would be a “scummy” thing to do and one of the conditions for entering a relationship with me was that he would be able to keep his ex on Instagram.
During this time, we agreed to spend a holiday together but he left early because his friend invited him to a cottage. When I told him I felt upset, disrespected, and not prioritized, he said, “If you really wanted to do something, I would change my plans for you.” He also made several misogynistic comments, like saying women can’t drive and that he’d never let me drive, or that the world would fall apart if women were leading it.
I had to ask him to text me more and give me verbal affection, which he still barely did.
Toward the end, I found myself chasing him for connection, while he was distant and hesitant. After the incident where he bailed on me I finally mustered up the courage to end things.
It’s been almost two weeks of no contact. He still hasn’t returned a dress I left at his place, and I feel stuck wondering if he ever truly cared or thought about me.
Has anyone dealt with something similar – an avoidant, disrespectful partner who sends mixed signals? How did you cope with the silence and confusion? Any advice on moving on from a situation like this?