I (M, married since 2017) came home from work today in a good mood. I was happy, enjoying time with my wife and our son. But within an hour, I felt like I hated my wife and wanted to leave her.
Here’s what happened: I was frying some potato chips. She told me to only cook a small amount. After one batch (10–15 chips), I decided to cook more while the oil was hot instead of waiting to do another batch later. She came over, grabbed the bag out of my hand, and started raising her voice at me to stop. I asked her why she had to react that way over something so small, but she just kept repeating that I should try the first batch before making more.
I felt like I wanted to throw the chips just out of frustration. Our son even got in between us and said “stop, stop,” which broke my heart. At that moment, all the old feelings of hate, resentment, and wanting to leave came flooding back.
This is our “normal.” Fights over small things, her controlling behavior, her raising her voice, me feeling disrespected and trapped. We’ve had many conversations afterward where she promises to change. She never does.
I love my son and I want peace in my life, but with her, I just can’t find it. I’ve felt this way even before marriage, but I stayed, hoping things would change. Now, 8 years later, it’s the same. Honestly, I believe it will only get worse in the next 5–10 years.
I don’t know if I should keep hoping, accept this is my life, or finally take steps to leave. I want a relaxed, happy relationship, but I don’t think I’ll ever have that with her.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? How did you decide whether to stay or leave?