I know it's normal to have doubts and communicating them is the mature thing to do. Thing is, guys I've dated don't usually express anything, so when the last guy I dated did, I realized I'm not sure how I'm supposed to actually respond.
We dated for 3 months, though due to both of us traveling there were a few large gaps between dates. But when we were both in town we'd see each other 1-2x a week, also would send a couple texts most days. All our dates were hours long (mainly initiated by him but I also planned a couple), conversation would always flow since we had a lot in common. He told me he liked me and we established we weren't seeing others. We got to 3rd base, but not all the way since I don't want to have sex outside of an official relationship. The one issue that came up was when we discussed where we want to live long-term. He's not from my city and may potentially move home in a year or 2. He was pretty anxious over the thought of us eventually breaking up over this. I stated this was too far in the future to think about, so many things can change, we'll get there when we get there. He acknowledged he was probably overthinking, as he has a tendency to do that, and reiterated that he does want to continue seeing me until he figured that out. He even suggested I would be his reason to stay here. From then on, he put more effort into seeing me, so I felt good where things were headed.
Last week, he came over and while we were making out, he pulled back and seemed deep in thought. I asked what he was thinking and he replied, "I was thinking about how much I like kissing you…but do you feel we have good chemistry?" He explained everything felt so comfortable/easy between us, he always looks forward to and enjoys spending time with me and likes kissing me, but he wasn't sure we had a spark and clicked better as friends. He didn't really know what exactly was missing, just that his friend recently got into a serious relationship and when the friend was explaining how he knew they were ready for that, he wasn't sure we were in the same place. Also, he couldn't let go of his anxiety over his living situation. I didn't know what to say, since all this felt very out-of-the-blue, so was mostly silent as he rambled. Eventually, he came to the conclusion that if he was unsure, it was better to end things. He started crying, apologizing, and telling me how great I was. When he left, I heard him going "fuck" to himself over and over again.
Now that a week has passed, I'm wondering if there's something I should've said to make the conversation more productive. He'd suggested maybe there was something off about our banter, which pissed me off because I've tried flirting several times and he was never responsive. He'd told me before he's inexperienced so often missing cues, plus words of affirmation wasn't his love language at all. So I figured flirting/banter just wasn't his thing, which was ok with me since he'd show interest in other ways, and stopped trying with that. I didn't bring this up in the moment since I didn't want to make it a "you did this/that" back-and-forth, but now I'm wondering if it would've been worth to at least share my side and see where things went from there.