I'm 32 now and I'm really on the fence about having kids – part of me does but the larger part of me does not. I'm not in a position to even have kids yet as I'm single, but what's been weighing me down a lot lately is my mum.
My parents are retired and getting older, and for as long as I can remember since my sister and I became adults, my mum has always been excited about becoming a grandmother because she loves children and loves caring for people.
My sister won't be having kids due to fertility issues, so it's all down to at me and it's making me feel really guilty. I'm in no rush to settle down and am just enjoying my life and career, but it upsets me knowing how badly my mum wants to be a grandparent and that I'm not willing/able to make that happen for her right now.
We've talked about this before and I can see how much it hurts her when I say that I don't know if I want to have kids. I know having a child to appease my parents is not a good reason to have one, but I can't help but feel guilty that I'm indirectly hurting my mum.
And part of what makes it difficult is she doesn't try to pressure me at all, she'll just tell me she's happy as long as I'm happy, but I can tell that it upsets her.
Has anyone else experienced something similar?