So I 26f went on a date with a guy 31m I met on a dating site. He invited me and said that he wanted to meet at this restaurant at 6. I meet him there and convo is fine. We have food and beer. Then… the check comes and he asks for separate checks. I’m taken aback as he picked the place and asked me out. Then once we pay he dips while I’m still drinking my beer. Mind you, I didn’t buy anything expensive. Then I went home and there’s gonna be no second date.

Edit: I am not asking for advice


14 comments

  2. Not gonna get into the whole who should pay debate, it’s different for different cultures but the way he left was rude.

  3. I always pay my way on first dates as a woman. We are just meeting each other. But I feel like we’re missing something when you say he left before you finished your drink. Otherwise, rude, but a 1 on 10 as far as weird dates go, count yourself lucky there!

  8. It honestly sounds to me like something abruptly made him uninterested. He could just be a complete weirdo, or there might be some self reflection needed here.

    Only you can make that determination… Are you posting photos of what you actually look like? Are you withholding certain information until the first date (like kids or some other major lifestyle factors)? How did the conversation go… Was he asking all the questions… Were you asking all the questions… Or was it a reciprocal back-and-forth? Were you late? Did you talk about your ex? Did you talk shit about the current dating culture or men in general? Did you trauma dump? Did you ask tacky interview style questions about his income?

    So many potential factors here on why this might have happened… It could be you, it could be him, but I wouldn’t worry too much about it either way. He just wasn’t interested… on to the next.

  9. These days you just don’t know what to do lol. Some girls are pissed off when you try to pay for them, others are pissed off you didn’t pay for them. Me personally, i respect women that offer to pay their half, or just the whole thing, it tells me “i’m a mature adult and i’m ready to build this together as equals”.
    The few girls i dated who demanded me to pay were complete red flags, one was even abusive in every way.

    Once i was with this girl at the bar, when they brought the check to the table, and i’m not kidding, she looked away at the ceiling until i gave my credit card 😅. Another girl treated me like garbage, made me pay for everything, then asked me to come upstairs, and i said no. Other men would have said yes and forget their self-respect, that’s why these girls are so entitled.

    The best ones in my experience are the ones who don’t expect the man to pay, they treat you with respect and they’re the best to be with imo. (and i don’t mean crazy feminists, i mean mature girls like i said before)

  10. Short date story: I paid for everything for months out of the kindness of my heart because she was recently unemployed. She never made a move to pay for anything ever and the real reason she was unemployed? Lazy. Add to that severe emotional reactions to small things like bad jokes or losing a video game.

    I won’t be paying for any dates without seperate checks for awhile until I can see how sane they are. Def never dip unspoken, its rude.

  11. 1. Separate checks is the most appropriate.
    2. He just didn’t feel interested, he tried. Would you prefer he wasted more of your time?

  12. Sounds like the relationship I was in. I used to pay 50% of everything – from dates to groceries. But he could go out and buy his friends drinks lol

  13. Sounds like he wasn’t into it and knew he didn’t want to see you again. Honestly brave enough to not take the loss. It’s not that deep, move on

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