So it’s long distance thing. We met in March of this year and hit it off pretty quickly while he was here in Dallas visiting. He spent a total of 3 weeks here and we went on a date every other day. Immediately with him leaving, we came to the conclusion in order to make us “work” we would travel back and forth each month from Dallas to Detroit in order to date.
I’ll fast forward to June. He’s here in Dallas visiting me, and I stupidly make the mistake of going through his phone. And I discover that he was meeting up and having sex with someone two days before I arrived to Detroit the prior month in May.
I confront, I argue, and I make it clear that he’s free to go on and do whatever he chooses to do, but I don’t want any parts of him if he is still going to be sleeping with outside parties. He cried and says he wants to do better. We agree to date exclusively.
Fast forward a bit, he’s posting thirst traps on social media. Inappropriate picture that display a certain body part through his clothing on Snapchat. It’s clear it’s for attention. I also bring this to his attention, we agree to disagree that it’s wrong. This is a full blow up. We have a talk, we reconcile, I’m under the impression that we are good and we are going to continue on as we are. Dating exclusively.
Let’s fast forward to September. He’s been here in Dallas for almost a week and half now. I invited him here to come to one of my close friend’s wedding. We are having a ball, enjoying each other’s company, truly we are having a great time. Yet I still have a feeling that something isn’t right. He only stayed with me half a week, the other half, he went to go stay with his friend who lives here in Dallas as well. He only didn’t stay with me the full time because my house is busy right now and I have family staying with me.
I have my feeling and so I download Jack’d. A gay dating app. I move my location to his friends house and what do I know, he’s on there, while on a trip to visit me. I stupidly begin to catfish him, he is intending on meeting up with this fake profile of mine and even sending nudes.
I, in anger, drive over the next morning, confront him about it. I’m truly confused because I’ve given him the opportunity to go and do things his way, he would just have to leave me alone. I can’t date that way (investing myself) yet still sleeping with others. He still wants me apparently, he’s nearly in tears, saying he’s been single for so long that he’s stuck him his single ways, he made some stupid mistakes, he wants to be better, he doesn’t want to lose this connection, he will do better. I tell him that I don’t want to do this anymore and I will think about it.
Fast forward to last night,we met up in person to talk. A lot of things were said.
First of all he made a joke of my HIV status, basically implying that I used to be a whore and that’s how I got HIV.
He secondly said that I was wrong for snooping and making a fake dating profile. He said that I had no business looking for all the things that I found. He said that, what he does in his personal life, is his business.
Mind you, I was under the impression that we were dating exclusively. I literally made it clear that was a boundary of mine several months ago.
I also snatched his phone and found out that he’s on a cruising site called sniffies and when I went to grab the phone and I saw sniffies, he was surely proud to admit that he was on sniffies and he was proud to admit that he hopped right on it as soon as he got here. To hurt me. He actually chased me as soon as I grabbed the phone.
He also said I was dumb for putting my all into someone so early.
He said a lot!
I also said a lot. I called him a whore for all things that I was discovering. I really was just telling him that if he is still willing to see other people this deep into this connection, then just let me go. I don’t want to be apart of him.
But he held my car keys from me (several hours) and prevented me from leaving and insisted that we work things out. Yet he never wanted to compromise on the dating other peoples. He wanted to keep on insisting that I was wrong for snooping and that it’s none of my business. Somebody please give me some insight on this?