In short, I had been facing depression+ intrusive thoughts about liking other people and not liking my boyfriend. I confessed everything to him like an idiot. I regret it now, but I couldn't have known better at the time. He took it all in. I broke up with him twice impulsively and rashly and the second break up tore him apart. He just changed. He left me, came back and when he did, he said it opened his wounds and he stopped talking to me with respect. started ignoring me. said he needs time and wants to fix it but doesn't know if it will ever get better. said he can't deal with it anymore. said he won't do therapy. said he'll stay like that forever. said he thinks i'll drop him anytime. said he may stop loving/ liking me and it is not a choice. said he may stop caring. I'm taking it cause I was the one that hurt him. my thoughts were "i think ur x friend looks better than u" "i think ur face is ugly" "I want to kiss someone else" "i want to leave for other guys". Trust me, I couldn't eat the week I had these thoughts. I felt like I shouldn't. And I never had them when I was out of the spiral. i confessed. And I also broke up once cause of these very thoughts. I admit it was my mistake. But i cried, regretted it so much. How do I handle a partner who says he may stop loving me and needs time?
TL;DR: I (27F) struggled with depression and intrusive thoughts, broke up with my boyfriend (28M) twice which hurt him badly. Now he says he might stop loving me, needs time, won’t do therapy, and ignores me. I regret my actions but don’t know how to handle things while he’s like this. somehow this post got removed.