I've always had a really tough time making friends and opening myself to people in general. This is especially more so as an adult. I feel like it's really set me back in life, especially over the last few years. It's like my life has been at a complete stand still.
One of the biggest reasons, I find is that whenever people ask me about myself, I feel a tremendous sense of shame, when I share details about my life and interests. In short, I feel really embarrassed about how I am doing. Questions of marriage, any kids, living situation etc… things of that nature really make me nervous and embarrassed to share. I think more so now, as I feel like I should be at a different level, or at least along side people who are at my age(40). I see so many people my age, or younger, who seem to be doing so much better then me – and having conversations with those people, though never has anybody said anything negative to me, really pains me. It's almost like I'm thinking they are laughing at me in their head while I'm talking. It really causes a lot of ugly feelings in me, to the point that I isolate myself from life a lot more then is healthy.
Aside from the obvious answer of going to therapy, how have you learned to deal with these feelings, if you've dealt with them at all?
Thanks!