I’m texting a girl that I’ve been on a first date with that went really well and we’ve been texting frequently daily and I’m planning to arrange a second date. The problem is that I’m gonna be part of an event on the weekend that will take literally all my day from 10am to 10pm and I’ll have almost 0 access to my phone at that time. Am I gonna come off as rude if I tell her that I will be super busy and won’t text as often or at all throughout the weekend? She’s a nice girl and I don’t want her getting the wrong impression that I’m losing interest in her or something like that.
37 comments
Not at all – in fact, it’s usually better to say something than to suddenly go silent. It shows you’re thoughtful and respectful of her time.
Its best to explain to her that you’ll be part of that event and you are literally unable to use your phone around those times. Perhaps it’ll help to tell her when you’re available again and you could suggest a second date beforehand?
No. If anything, it’s a sign of ***maturity and good communication***. Just tell her you won’t have access to your phone for the reason you stated above and that you won’t be able to reply back at within that time frame and you’ll do your best to reply back when you get access to your phone.
Noo not rude! Be cute and tell her you’ll be indisposed but still super excited to hang. Maybe send a text before and after the event as your time allows. I’d also try to iron out the details of the second date before you’re unreachable.
Not at all. She’ll be relieved to know the truth, it’s not rude it’s respectful of her time
Not rude at all. Just explain it to her like you did here.
Not at all, in fact that’s very thoughtful to say in advance.You’d want to avoid her being upset and she should be understanding if you respectfully let her know.But give her a quick ring or a nice text here and there, that should keep a smile on her face.
It’s courteous to let her know if your regular communications are going to change but I advise against an apology or excuse.
I probably won’t be able to talk this weekend but I’ll be thinking of you and can’t wait to talk again Monday!
Should be fine
I go by this rule. I have a phone for MY convenience not yours.
I would rather someone tell me that they would be busy than worry if I offended you.
Schedule messages to be sent 😉
Just tell her. But be sure to message her once you’re freed up.
Why don’t you just say this to her….ESPECIALLY the last sentence.
“It’s not rude, but she might feel a bit upset. Just explain to her why you can’t text, and for the second date maybe get her a small gift she’d like, so she’ll feel better about it.”
Honestly I think it’s way better to tell her that you’ll be busy. It shows that you do care about her and you don’t want her to get the wrong thoughts about why you’re not texting back
Let her know that you want to talk and when you’ll be busy, but when you can talk.
It’s not rude but don’t be surprised if she moves on or stops texting.
Pauses in communication actually improve relationships because they allow time for reflection and appreciation. Just tell her that your phone addiction will be on hold 10-10 that day and that you may be much too tired to send anything afterward, because it would snowball into a long texting session.
Just explain it then hit her up after.
No its not rude, but it can be if you dont word it thoughtfully
Nope, Id rather have you tell me that than leave me wondering why you have not messaged me at all. I personally find it respectful.
I’ve been in this situation plenty. But sometimes I do have to pee every few hours (or take a break or eat lunch) and I’ll shoot a quick text to say “hi, thinking of you”. It only takes seconds.
I don’t think that’s rude at all. And it’s definitely better than her wondering why you’re not texting her back all weekend.
Honestly I would love if men did that. Or women. Letting me know would alleviate worries that maybe I had screwed up and you didn’t want to talk to me anymore and honestly it’s a mature thing to do. I think you’re really sweet trying to be conscious of this girls feelings. Is there a green flag I can post? lol
Straight answer – no.
The fact that you’ve told her you’ll be out of commission all day (when she would likely be expecting some form of communication) means you’re a gentleman and are being transparent.
That’s a green flag move and one any decent person will understand.
I do this – been seeing and talking to someone for about a month, still new, we talked daily leading up to our first 3 dates but sometimes I have to lock in and get shit done at work so I tell her that I cant really talk. She understands and appreciates me letting her know.
Not rude at all, it’s actually thoughtful. A quick “hey I’ll be tied up all weekend but I’ll text you after” shows you like her enough to keep her in the loop
This is great! I know I would appreciate that
Yeah just be completely up front, more details would be better so they don’t feel like its untrue.
I have mad respect for men who thoughtfully communicate
Just explain this all to her. She won’t see it as you being rude. She should be understanding and it’s a big green flag for you to share this information with her rather than leaving her hanging. Just tell her you’re doing this event and will be busy from 10am to 10pm with no/limited access to your phone but that you’ll message her as soon as you’re able to
It’s actually good to say something. Just explain your schedule. You don’t need to overexplain anything or even over compensate for anything due to the lack of communication. This is a normal boundary something that I also had to learn from both sides.
Tell her exactly what you told Reddit — she’d appreciate it.
It’s amazing in an age of super connected communication how many people simply neglect to say hey – I can’t text these hours/days because x. That’s all it takes to ensure that the person doesn’t think you’ve been shot, run over or ghosted them.
It’s the way you say it that counts
Very mature and kind to communicate in this way. She will appreciate it
It’s only “rude” if you don’t offer some kind of alternative or concession of when you will be available.
Respecting one’s time and energy can be a two-way street.