My husband has been acting different. We have been together since high school so I know the man pretty well. Over the last month or more he has been extremely irritable with me and our kids, especially our oldest 5f. He is usually a pretty calm guy and unless you really push him or he is extremely angry he does not yell. Lately though, he yells all the time. Daughter does something she isn't supposed to or doesn't listen the first time, immediately yelling. I ask for him for "too much" yelling. I have tried to speak with him about it at a calm time and asked if there is something he is dealing with that he is having a hard time talking about and he says no. We have had extensive conversations about how to deal with our daughter more appropriately when he is angry but not much has changed.
He has always been someone who spends a lot of time on his phone and has some music hobbies with friends he is very active in. I think most of his phone time is spent on this or scrolling facebook/instagram. It is excessive and we have argued about it over the years, more so lately because the kids want attention and he wont put the phone down.
It all came to a head yesterday when he starting snapping at me after I told him its unfair that I am doing the kids morning before school routine alone again while he is on his phone. I told him I know something is going on with him and asked to look through his phone. Not something I usually do but felt like maybe the answer was there. We are super open with our phones with each other and know each others passwords.
Well, he flipped out. I would not give it back once I saw his reaction and felt like now I definitely need to look. I went to another room and he followed me. Basically, he was able to get a hold of his phone and threw it on the ground breaking the screen.
We haven't spoken since. He slept in the guest bedroom and I think we need to take a little time apart like this to figure out what we want to do.
I really dont think he is out cheating, my gut is telling me something else but I can't figure out what. Gambling and drug use dont really fit either.
Any ideas? Experience?