I don’t know where else to put this, but I need to get it off my chest.
My (M29) fiancée (F30) and I were engaged, owned a house together, and had been planning our future, you know white picket fence life that every american dream think of. I’ve been working hard to become a financial planner, doing my CFP but I am taking a very long time to do it as I've had a failed exam but I recently changed jobs and finally caught up to her salary. Despite that, she’s repeatedly told me I’m “just an admin,” “lazy,” and “useless.” It’s been a recurring argument, and it finally boiled over.
During our last fight, she said she’d rather be with a rich asshole than a “lazy poor moron” like me. I asked her to give me back the ring out of anger, and she responded by saying it was over—and slapped me. I reacted poorly and threw her ring.
I walked out in the middle of the night without my phone or keys. I was in such a dark place that I genuinely thought ending my life was the only way out. I stood on a bridge for what felt like hours, crying, until a stranger stopped me. The only reason I didn’t go through with it was because I thought it would hurt her more than anything.
When I came back and told her what happened, she exploded—not with concern, but about her ring being bent. I nearly died, and she was more upset about the ring than me. Since then, she hasn’t apologised once. She keeps calling me selfish, manipulative, and says it’s all my fault.
The next day, I took time off work to try and fix the ring—but mostly because I needed to focus on my mental health. She was furious that she didn’t come home to flowers and a handwritten apology. I hadn’t done those things yet, but after she lashed out, I went out and bought them—purely out of guilt. When I tried to explain, she just said “don’t bother,” because apparently she’d already told me how she felt.
I don’t know what to think anymore. I'm not perfect—I’ve said and done things in past arguments I regret—but I feel broken and empty. I’m not posting this for pity. I just need to know if anyone else has been through something like this. How do you even begin to heal when the person you loved most treats your pain like an inconvenience?
TLDR: My fiancee and I had a huge fight, she slapped me so I felt like I had no choice but to contemplate suicide. I came back and she thinks it was selfish and manipulative for me to do this.