Please be kind. I’m asking here because I really don’t know what to do, and I don’t have anyone in my life to ask about this.
I’m in my twenties, and my partner and I are in a long-distance relationship (different continents). I’ve always been very private, even with social media. I got my first accounts when I was 15 or 16, and since then, I’ve probably posted pictures of myself fewer than 20 times, mostly on Snapchat (people in my country mostly use Snapchat to post pictures). I rarely post on Instagram, and I’ve never posted a real post there, maybe a story once a year or so. I log in infrequently, and most interactions with friends are old texts from weeks or months ago.
My boyfriend’s social circle is different. People there post freely and seem more carefree.
His family sometimes asks him why I'm not active on social media (he tells them I am a private person). I understand why they might be curious or cautious, they can’t see me anywhere online, so they don’t have a presence to reference, and they have a reason to think I might be fake. I’ve considered adding old college friends to Instagram to make my account look more normal, but even that feels awkward, like they would be invading my privacy, even if I’m not posting anything. Once adding a friend made me feel like that.
Sometimes I feel out of place for not posting or being cautious about adding people. I also sometimes feel like posting and showing my life, but then I never do it.
Many of my friends and relatives have 100+ friends on social media. I want to be like that, not care about having a lot of friends on my accounts, not think “Oh, I don’t want this person to see my stuff,” or worry about who is too nosy. I want to have all my friends on there and not care, even if I’m not close to most of them. I want to be like them, effortlessly normal, with people on my account that I don’t even interact with, and just not stress about it.
1. Is it normal to be in your twenties and have no social media presence?
2. Do you think being more active on social media would help me feel more confident socially or reduce my social anxiety? I’m also wondering if practicing being more social online could help me in the long term, for example when I start working, move to a different place, or enter a new environment, because adjusting to these changes always feels really difficult for me.
3. Should I add a few people on Instagram and some highlights just so my boyfriend’s family can see that I have friends and that I am a real person?
4. Would any of you do that for a boyfriend’s family? Should I do that for a boyfriend’s family?