My boyfriend and I are graduating in 3 months after dating for 4 years during our PhDs. I have been interning with a company for a year and a half and they have offered me a full-time role which I feel excited about. However, I honestly never took the offer too seriously because it requires relocation and I didn't want to pigeonhole my boyfriend into having to apply for jobs in a specific place.
So basically all summer long I grinded my ass looking for remote jobs. That's all I did all summer. I made it to several final round interviews but never lucked out. I am currently interviewing at one more place and I did secure one short-term remote contract role, but it's unclear how long that will last. So as it stands my only full-time offer right now is a full-time job in Colorado in person.
My boyfriend has hardly applied for any jobs. I have applied for well over 200 but he's probably applied for 20 max. I am sooo angry at him for this, because like, I would have followed him wherever honestly, but he needed to get his act together and find a freaking role! But he hardly did any applying all summer and is only starting to do it now and isn't even prioritizing roles in Colorado which really makes me angry. Like if I were him I would be refreshing the Colorado linkedin search page every hour and being the first to apply and cold emailing and LinkedIn networking and just working so hard to find a position where he is. Instead he's applying slowly to jobs all over the country with the unspoken expectation that he can just go wherever he wants and I will get a remote job and follow him or wait for him to find a job and then I guess apply for in person roles there.
I'm not the biggest feminist out there but the double standard here is really starting to get to me. It's like I was willing to do whatever it took to follow him to a job but he hardly applied and still has nothing on the table. So now I'm faced with having to either take an in-person job and live by myself and possibly end my relationship or take the remote contract role that lacks health insurance or any real job security. All for the sake of what even?? He doesn't even have a job! But he's not committed to moving out to Colorado with me and doing everything it takes to get a job there. I am just so angry! We also have a dog, a big dog, that I am now going to have to figure out how to transport across the country without his help if he doesn't come with me. This is all just shit and I am so mad at him and I don't know what to do. Help please!
Tl;DR I have a full-time offer in Colorado, but my boyfriend hasn’t seriously applied for jobs and still has nothing. I applied to 200+ roles while he barely applied to 20, and now I feel stuck choosing between taking the secure job alone or a shaky remote contract for his sake. I’m angry, resentful, and don’t know what to do.