I was pregnant with twins and also had an incredibly stressful job during the time. One of the babies was stillborn and the other was born prematurely.
I feel my husband has become increasingly rude and inconsiderate of me given the circumstances I’ve endured. All I want is for him to at least be there for me emotionally during this though time. But instead he is always playing online games or watching something on his phone or working.
During the early months, he cared for the baby along with me through day and night but recently he has started to see it more as a chore. He gets angry and snaps at the baby or me if baby isn’t sleeping in the night.
While I understand this is also too much for him to process emotionally, if he isn’t ready to speak to me about it, I don’t know what can be done. I feel neglected emotionally. He doesn’t even hug or kiss me anymore. Anytime I ask him to put down the phone, and spend sometime with me, he just snaps. If he is watching the baby, he is mostly on his phone with baby beside him.
We bought an apartment nearby my parents house and wanted to set it up before the babies were here, but it didn’t go as planned and we have been staying with my parents ever since delivery. While it is less possible for me to set it up since I’m recovering physically and have a baby to watch, I’m relying more on him to get it done. Even there, i have to point him to the exact list of things that needs to be done, where to buy stuff from and all the mental load is on me. But the moment I ask him to work on this stuff over the weekends, it’s always about how hard it is for him and how he’s been doing it single handedly.
It’s been six months and he’s in no hurry to move out of my parents house, since they watch the child and cook for us etc., which is embarrassing at this point. Which is why I started to put things together myself (I’m having incredible back pain since my c section as my core has given up and doing physio for the same) and he didn’t bother to even stop me.
Even my in-laws are incredibly disrespectful to me saying vile things about my baby like how he’s skinny (he was premature weighing 1kg) comparing him to other full term babies.
At this point, I feel I can’t take it anymore and just want a divorce
TL;DR: my husband is a lot meaner to me postpartum and baby loss, ignores my contributions to the household, and is emotionally unavailable to me, while conveniently ignoring his responsibilities