Im pretty sure im autistic or smth. Cuz its SO hard for me to understand social cues and be able to read a room.
Which is why im a pretty big target for bullying 😔
Im in highschool so its wayy more embarrassing than it used to be in elementary or middle school. I always thought that I'd EVENTUALLY grow out of it. But I never did 🙁
Yesterday I thought these 2 dudes were tryna befriend me. One of them asked me if I play Roblox, and I was pretty happy and thought Id finally make a friend since Im new to the school.
But after I told him yes enthusiastically, the dude in the back burst out laughing, while the one talking to me hushed him. Saying "Omg SHHH bro im tryna talk to herrr" and the back up friend shut it as he pretends he can BARELY hold back his laughter.
He then asks me if I like "steal a brainrot" But atp I was just confused and automatically shut down. So I ignore him, and he asks again "Cmon, just tell meee do you like ittt?" And I just stayed silent, as him and his hyena of a friend broke out into laughter.
I was just confused in the moment, but the real terror is the night that came after, I couldnt stop hating myself for being so bad socially. Usually this type of bullying doesn't rlly affect me, but this one just broke smth inside me. The entire night I couldn't sleep at ALL. And overthought if I'll ever stop being awkward.
I decided to stay home cuz I was too sleepy and anxious to go today. And now I'm just wondering how I'm gonna pull myself to go to school tomorrow…