I’m the person who organizes masterminds, gathers people into small groups, and speaks a lot. It’s my nature to step up and host, people keep coming back and the feedback is good. At the same time I run heavy social anxiety scripts. Before events I catastrophize, during them I read minds and scan faces for signs I am boring people, and after I replay every sentence, compare myself to others, and discount anything positive. Sometimes I even devalue myself or others in my head just to feel safer, then feel guilty about it. I can hold the room, but the recovery often costs me a day or two.
What I’ve tried: weekly exposure by continuing to host, basic CBT tools, short breathing breaks, a one page after action journal, limiting caffeine on event days, and asking for quick written feedback. These help, but the rumination still bites and I move the goalposts whenever something goes well.
I don’t want to stop leading, I like it and it helps people. I want my nervous system to stop treating every meeting like a performance review. What practical things helped you: scripts for opening and closing, time boxed debriefs, grounding habits, cool down routines, rules for letting positive feedback land? How do you reduce mind reading during the event and shut down the replay loop after?
TL;DR: I lead groups and speak often, but social anxiety makes me overthink before, during, and after. Looking for concrete habits or frameworks that helped you keep showing up without burning out.