Good day Gentlemen.
I am just a 40 year old man, 4 kids, a beautiful wife, not much in the bank, work is ok, i believe and i just had a moment with myself that my life has been a rollercoaster ride of struggle with momentary pauses of satisfaction.
I am happy with my family. They kept me going and just thinking about them prevents me from pulling the trigger on my mouth.
I have worked hard on myself to provide, care, and be better to me self and to my family. But how come it just feels like i am in my own little rat race that i just could not get off?
I dont know gents. With all the thoughts running in my head, i just stay quiet. I cant talk properly with all the self isolation, but i have to put on a mask of courage and bravery in front of my family as i am the father and husband but i just feel, after the mask is off, i am just dead tired of it all.
Daddy is dead so i have no other man to talk to. Oh boy it is just so hard. You know what i mean. As im re reading my post i dont even know what im talking about.
It's just so exhausting. Sorry for being negative gents but i thought being in a community of men might help me.