Hi guys,
There’s this friend (25F) who i (23M) used to be coworkers with. I was told by two people at the time of working together that she had a huge crush on me, but i was in a long term, half emotionally abusive relationship. While she was on and off with her ex.
A little backstory on me, i’ve been known as a serial monogamous. I’ve had 2 long term relationships the past 6ish years, and a couple of flings after relationships ended. I seriously am a really genuine person when it comes to relationships. I don’t like sleeping around i like working towards something bc hook up culture is overrated. I know that seems counter-intuitive but i don’t plan on dipping on any girls i talk to. i got out my last relationship around april.
Now, she knows this about me. We talked from beginning of june to end of july. We have amazing chemistry better than anyone i know. We could just laugh about anything, get deep when we needed to and be healthy with our disagreements. She’s amazing so amazing, i’ve never felt this way about any girl and i mean that. I honestly think she liked me just as much, like it’s the feeling you can tell someone loves you. She always made time for me on her days off of work.
Now, we decided to stop talking. Well mainly her, during our last convo, also plenty of times before she told me i shouldn’t jump into a serious relationship and i should be single for a little bit. so she figured we should stop for a bit.She said if im not talking to anyone in a few months she would be ok with trying for real. She said we can still talk and i told her no, because i don’t want to like her again (regain feelings) and she said that kind of hurt her. but i explained what i meant and she understood
This conversation clearly wasn’t easy for her. She seemed very conflicted about her decision. Saying she doesn’t want to stop but she thinks logically it could be best for us if we continue a future together. She’s didn’t tell me directly, but my friend said she’s just hesitant because of how quickly i moved on. which don’t get me wrong, i understand her. but he told me it seems that she meant everything she said by how it’s been effecting her after we ended. She was holding back tears in the car, holding my hand etc. I obviously agreed and wanted her to be happy. we don’t talk atm. My friend that works with her told him that she was crying for like a week about us ending, he tells me she directly or indirectly brings me up a lot. or they joke about our possible future indirectly. about a month after i did just let her know i missed seeing her, we joked a lot over text, a weekish later she texted me congratulating me on my M4.
All in all i really like this girl, obviously my history you guys might think i say that about every girl. But the way ive handled being single and going ghost, working on myself. I haven’t felt this feeling for anyone and i genuinely mean that so please take my word for it. my friend offered me two girls to possibly date and i told him no, which is obviously unlike me untill i was with this girl.
Could anyone give me some advice if i should be patient? when i say wait, i mean like a few more months, not like 8 months to a year