I'm not sure how to phrase this, but my question is related to women's safety and also my well being in public spaces. I am someone who is concerned with women's safety and well being in public spaces, especially places where social interaction wouldn't really be expected; ie. library, train station, walking on the street, even coffee shops, etc. If I feel like I might be invading their space or making them uncomfortable I'll deliberately move away from them, slow down while walking, move seats, etc. The thing is I feel that women do not reciprocate this and it actually makes me uncomfortable. I feel like women don't really approach men, instead they just kind of sit close to you and awkwardly glance at you a bunch, like they're expecting you to talk to them. That's ok, but the problem I'm having is that a lot of the time I don't want to talk when this is happening. I'll be at a nearly empty coffee shop and some woman sits at the table right next to me, facing me sitting there glancing at me for like 20 minutes, saying nothing. Meanwhile I'm on my laptop, wearing headphones, trying to avoid making eye contact. I have no problem talking to anyone in public and often welcome a conversation but there's a certain body language that people have when they're open to chatting and it is not what I'm doing when I'm describing these interactions.
Here's another example. I went to the library to get work done, while I was getting out of my car I made eye contact with a woman getting in her car next to mine, smiled, waved, then went inside to sit at a table and start working. Ten minutes later the same woman comes in and sits at the table right next to mine; there's at least 3 other empty tables. Ok, no big deal. I don't really look up, as I'm kind of hunched over trying to focus (wearing headphones). After about 40 minutes I look up and stretch a little and that woman is sitting facing me, it feels like watching me work. Her body language screams like someone who wants to talk. It makes me super nervous and I can no longer focus. At one point she even asked if I was using the outlet or sometime. Maybe I'm overreacting but it actually feels like this person is staring and it makes me uncomfortable.
So I guess what I'm saying is that I feel like women use rhetoric about their safety to moderate public spaces. I completely understand and try to give women space in turn, but it does not feel like that level of understanding is extended to me. I don't want to be rude to these people but I feel like if they want to talk they should approach, ask if I want to talk, and then accept a yes or no answer, instead of just waiting nearby and staring at someone. In fact it feels like women moderate public spaces with their level of comfort and not safety. I don't want to be rude or standoffish because sometimes I am open to talking with strangers but sometimes I'm really just trying to focus. I guess it's not really that big of a deal but it kind of bothers me that these people don't seem to understand body language at all, to the point where it makes me uncomfortable. What do you think?
edit:
Sorry women giving unwanted attention is so unrelatable for you.