I started seeing this guy in the summer and he was the first person I really let in since my ex boyfriend years ago. I’m someone who like to take their time but he was so open about wanting me to meet his friends and meeting mine that I jumped that step earlier than I wanted to because I believed he was for me. Fast forward we decided to take some time apart due to a lot of changes in his life he was struggling to deal with and his inconsistency was causing issues with us because it was making me anxious.
After not wanting to go on a break at first he finally agreed after a mini crash out I had. It’s been over a month and I haven’t heard from him at all, I told myself I was okay because if he doesn’t reach out it means he never was that into me anyway but as I continue to hear nothing and people around me ask about him I can’t help but feel embarrassed that I allowed him to meet everyone and now he’s gone. I’m embarrassed that my heart is still somewhat hoping to work out even if I feel like it won’t at this point. I’m embarrassed that I potentially just let someone in who easily just walked out. I was happy by myself and I hate this unknowing feeling.
4 comments
You’re the one who asked for the break so you need to reach out first.
Chances are pretty good that he’s moved on.
The t swizzle has you. Pick an album and pick yourself back up. Trying to love is nothing to be ashamed of.
Why are his actions a reflection of you? You can’t build relationships from the safety of a fence. So you felt like you could trust him and you let him in. People walk out of relationships for all kinds of reasons. It not working out is neither person’s fault. Life happens. Life’s too short to worry about what people think. Take the time to heal yourself and when you feel ready, you can try again. Rejection doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just wasn’t meant to be. One month isn’t that long a time in the scheme of things. Just don’t hold your breath and move forward with your life
I get it, you think it makes you look like a failure. But realistically, no one is that concerned about this situation but you.
You also seem to have abandonment wounds that you need to address. Because why else would you be embarrassed about letting someone in? Are you hurt about losing the person or more hurt that they triggered those wounds? Because in real life, you dont even know the person that well to be this devesated about losing them. So this is not about the person at all.
The only thing you can do is live and learn. You’d have to sit in.this shame spiral and ride it out in order to get it out your system. Then take time for yourself, learn to love and validate yourself.
As long as we are alive, the learning never ends so you dont have to take too long to sit and learn to love yourself. just take the lessons from this situation to the next situation. Slow down next time. And leave when needed. Dont just stay because you want to be liked. Stay because theyre compatible