My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year but communication has been a problem the whole relationship. I am his first serious girlfriend his last girlfriend was when he was 20.
I told him a few weeks ago I was thinking about getting a weekend job just for extra money. He said no he didn’t like that bc it would get in the way of ‘our time’. Fast forward to yesterday he was working at his supposed to be part time job (but works 5 days a week) then texted me stating he was running over to a second job that I had no idea about. This job is him teaching kids how to dance. He said he knew about this job a few weeks ago but didn’t care to tell me bc he was ‘doing it for him’ & it doesn’t interrupt ‘our time together’. I was very upset bc why wouldn’t he tell me that he was picking up a second job? technically 3rd bc he does travel from December to July but is in off season right now I told him not for the first time but many times that communication is a very heavy standard for me & why wouldn’t he tell me about this job? My thought is if you’re so excited to start this other job why couldn’t we both be excited about it? He said I told you before I went there? That should be enough.
I was honestly frustrated bc wtf?
Let’s now go back into the past. Back in the very beginning of the year I lost my apartment to a fire and then lost my grandma 5 days later. At this point we were together for 5 months. He was traveling at the time and working this part time job. I would take him to and from the airport & watch his dog while he was gone for 4&1/2 days. 7 days a week he worked. I worked around him leaving for the airport which would sometimes be anytime from 3 am to 12 pm. then picking him up which could be from anywhere from 9am-5 pm which would interrupt my therapy sessions or work so I would move my therapy appts around or move my clients to a earlier time or the next day. (He does have a car but would still ask be to take him bc parking his car at the airport cost money).
I begged him to just take one day off when he was at home a few weeks after I lost my apartment due to the fire & my grandma bc I just needed some time with him. He refused and then told me recently ‘why would I take a day off (while he’s at home working his part time job) if we’ve only been together for not even a year’ I was appalled. I believe the first year of a relationship is vital and where the foundation of getting to know each other and forming a deeper bond is built. He’s told me he works so much so he can buy us a house or that he’s doing all of this work for us. One I’ve never talked about buying us a house and two the only thing I’ve ever asked for is time with him but I don’t get that 3 he doesn’t pay any of my bills. I feel as if I’m a convenience bc we only do things on his time and what works with his schedule. Side note I’m also a mom with no dad in the picture.
Anyways the story is way longer but that’s the summery 😅 I hope all of this makes since.
HELP