I’m in my mid 20s and for the past couple years I’ve been pushing myself to go out to meet people. I’ve managed a couple decent friendships, mostly rekindled friends from high school, but it still feels impossible to have a natural back and forth with people my age. Either they don’t really talk to me or the vibe just dies instantly like they’re always kind of shielded.
Older folks will happily talk to me for an hour straight with mutual curiosity and interest. I love old people, but I’d also like to have friends my age and date people and all that. It also just seems like old folks are the only people who really want to talk to me.
At bars it’s super common that I just get pulled into conversations with older people, and at shows it’s even worse because everyone my age is there, but it feels like they don’t want to talk to me. I just end up in mosh pits alone hoping to make friends but it never works.
I’m often in my head and anxious around people my age. I dress pretty clean and slightly alternative. Im half handsome. I typically have a dull/awkward demeanor but when I actually get into talking I’m expressive and emotive. Starting and holding conversations with people my age who I actually want to talk to is where I fail.
What should I actually be doing differently here? What specific skills or approaches help with actually connecting with people in my own age group?