Am i weird to feel this way?
I F33 (asian) met a guy M29 (erupoean) on dating app.
He is visiting my country for a month holiday.
We chatted for 2 days and vibing really well. It's like best friend that haven't met for so long (he said).
And then he asked me for a date.
We met at the public place, and it was really fun.
Though it was fun but it felt a bit weird because he kept saying "you're doing great so far".
And i kept correcting his words to "WE ARE doing great."
We pay our own expenses (going dutch).
No kiss, no sex, no steamy hot touch, just normal hugs and holding hands.
He literally loved bombed me on the 1st day of the date. Say about how i am the prefect match because of my looks, my attitude, and how i treat him so well, and he imagining the future with me.
And then, he invited me to his alone trip.
He said, "if you're going to join me on my trip tomorrow, you need to bring your staff, that means you can't stay over tonight but if you decide not to join my trip then would you like to stay over tonight? I promise i wouldn't do anything that can cross your boundaries"
My answer was "Ok i will go with you. I am jobless at the moment so i have time to spend with you but my money is tight since i don't have any income. If i join you, do i have to pay for the car (he booked a car with the driver)?"
And his response "No you don't have to pay for it"
And then hours passed by, he kept asking me "are you really gonna join my trip?" And i said "Yes why not". And his response "You are crazy! If you're not sure, i will give you time tonight to think about it".
We started the date at 11pm and ended it at 6pm.
He doesn't drive and me either.
So when we decided to end the date that day, he ordered the taxi without telling me so he got his taxi first and went home right away, and he left me alone on the street (i was still waiting for my taxi for about 15 minutes).
I felt disappointed because he didn't wait for me or at least say "let's order our taxi now".
After about 2 hours (since the last time he heard from me) i didn't get any text from him to make sure I had arrived home safely. (Mind you, i commute 2 hours just to meet him, while he just commutes for 30minutes). I was hoping at least he would be a bit worried about me because it's night already.
And that night after our 1st date, he acted a bit differently, he seems so distant. Before the date, he was so fast to respond to my text and after the date, it takes so long to respond to every text.
So i offered him a call, i told him i am tired and sleepy so it's easier just to have a call rather than typing. He said he's on call already and he will call me later.
I waited about 1 hour and still no call. So i told him i will go to bed. He seems disappointed that i went to sleep instead of waiting for him. (My gut was telling me he's on call with another girl because he's not working at the moment).
The next morning, i texted him and it took 2 hours for him to reply. I told him i decided to join his trip. He told me to meet him at his place, he sent me his location. And, when i was ready to go, he texted me with a long paragraph explaining to me, that i need to decide if i still want to join his trip because he had a sex call last night with another girl, and he doesn't want me to think that he is playing games with me since we're not in a relationship yet. He said he likes me and he wouldn't lie about anything. (My gut was telling me he doesn't want me to join his trip).
So i ignored that paragraph and i asked him "if you're gonna take care of the expenses of the trip, do you expect me to have sex with you?". He said "No. But i will not pay for everything. I will not expect you to pay for the car and hotel room, so you still need to pay for other expenses by yourself".
So i told him i can't join his trip because i don't have the money. He said, "it's okay i understand ☺️" (why would he put that emoji?? So weird!).
He said, he will keep texting me while he is on his trip and if i want to, i can meet him again after his trip.
I said to him "i can't meet you anymore". And he got disappointed. He said "if you change your mind please don't hesitate to text me". I said "i will not talking to you anymore. He said "Sorry that you feel that way, that was not my intention. But it's all your feelings and your decision and i respect it".
(My logic : why would i want to meet him again if i didn't want to join his trip in the 1st place because what he had said about sex call with another girl?)
He said, his intention of telling me the truth about the sex call is just to make our situations clear, since we're not exclusive yet but he likes me and enjoys time together with me. And for me to break things off with him because of what happened between him and that girl, he feels it's so absurd.
- Am I wrong to feel this way since we are not exclusive yet and only been know each other for 3 days?
On the 1st date he told me "it's better with no expectation". But the way he talked to me, it's like he wanted to build a future with me. We even talked about where we gonna live if we ever decided to be married, do we want a child or not, and bla bla bla.
– Did he just gaslighted me?