I (22M) was with my ex (22F) for almost 2 years. She was my first sexual partner. We broke up about 11 months ago.
Right after, I went on a streak of one-night stands and short flings (probably 6–7 women, ranging 20F–25F). I thought it would help me move on, but honestly it just left me emptier.
For the last 2–3 months I cut off dating and focused on “healing.” Recently, I met an amazing woman (23F). We’ve been seeing each other for 2 months and everything outside the bedroom is great.
But when it turns sexual, something in me shuts down. In the middle of sex I lose my erection, feel this wave of disgust, and sometimes even see her as suddenly unattractive. A part of my brain keeps comparing her to my ex, who I was intensely attracted to.
I’ve brought this up with my therapist but it hasn’t helped. It feels less like “performance anxiety” and more like my body is rejecting intimacy altogether.
Has anyone else been through this? Is this trauma, biology, or something I can actually fix?