TL;DR; partner treating dog better than girlfriend/mother of child
This one’s complicated thus why I am here seeking advice.
This is an ongoing issue in my relationship. My 32F boyfriend 38M has a dog he shares with his ex wife, which I already think is weird but, whatever. That’s a whole other thing. The dog is nice and comes over every other weekend. Weekends are the only time I have with my boyfriend. We also now have a newborn. Giving some context.
Unfortunately I have pet allergies, worse for cats than dogs but some dogs really set it off. I do have my own dog, she doesn’t affect my allergies luckily, don’t ask me how that works cuz I have no idea. His dog however and unfortunately, sets them off big-time.
So, whenever the dog is here, I very quickly become symptomatic. This is excessive sneezing, sore throat, throat closing and struggles to breathe, itchiness and bumps on skin including my face. It’s extremely uncomfortable.
This last time, it got so bad I went up into our room and isolated myself because it got so bad. Then I got upset because, I don’t think it should be this way. I am sacrificing time with him and time in the main areas of my home just so he can have what I consider to be his exes dog over.
This last time I realized how unfair this is to me, to be sequestered for this reason. If anything he and the dog should isolate in a room I think.
I don’t know what to do or to tell him. In my perfect world the dog just wouldn’t come over anymore but that’d suck to request of him and I don’t need him resenting me one day.
But I feel very disrespected by this. It doesn’t help that he’s weirdly obsessed with this dog. He treats him like royalty and sometimes puts him before me, it’s sick. He refers to himself as the dogs “Daddy” which makes me wanna barf, especially given that he has an actual, human child.
I’m upset that he thinks it’s okay for me to have to go hide away in my own home because of his dog. It’s not fair and I am sick and tired as being treated as lesser than a DOG.
You’ll ask if I can take allergy meds, sure, but I don’t like that as a solution. For one they make me tired even if they’re the non-drowsy ones, but I’m the type that cares about what they put in their body and I am not comfortable with regularly taking them given the crappy ingredients they’re made with. Plus, again, why should I have to drug myself for the sake of his dog being over? I don’t think that’s right.
Given all this and how long it’s been I’m fed up and wondering if I should just give up and end things. I don’t want to deal with this or feel like way anymore, feeling like I’m lesser than a canine and that is not acceptable to me. If you have another suggestion, shoot.