I'm in my 40s and sometimes I feel like even though I've grown, the people I grew up with haven't grown. I know life isn't all about me, but sometimes I feel like people think I'm a loser or they see me for who I used to be and not who I am today.
I was talking to a friend of mine who invited me to a party. Unfortunately for me, a lot of people from my past will be there. People who saw me as a loser because I was a drunk and a drug addict. I also was in jail for a short period of time and I have been in and out of rehab.
I've changed my life for the better but I feel like people don't see the new me and they just remember the old me. I'm worried at this party that I'll be seen as a loser for my past, rather than the person I am today.
I wanted to start a business and get myself out there on social media, but I was worried about being mocked or people laughing at me trying. I feel like I'll be judged and ridiculed no matter what I do in life because my past was full of that.
How do I reinvent myself and become confident in who I am, not who I used to be? How do I stop caring what people in my past think?
Another thing is that my ex girlfriend once got hacked and someone revealed a bunch of our sex chats as well as very private pictures of me as well. There was a lot of embarrassment. I feel like people remember these things too.
Sorry if I'm babbling but I just get overwhelmed. I just want to feel confident again and I hate being reminded of my past by seeing or being around the people in my past.