30M and i’ve been dating actively for the past 5 years, always with the intention of finding something real and long term (never hookups), and i noticed lately that this keeps repeating in my dating experience:
-With some women, usually more “balanced” emotionally, i feel like i hit a wall. Things are fine, but i can’t really open up or go deep in conversations.
-With other women, usually more emotional/neurotic, i can go very deep very quickly, but that comes with instability, drama, or emotional chaos.
It feels like i can’t find both depth and stability in the same person.
For context: i’m an artistic and sensitive guy (so yeah, maybe a bit neurotic myself), but i’ve learned to regulate my emotions well and keep myself balanced. I need depth, but in a constructive way, not in a way that drags everything down.
The way i explain this to myself is that, yes i’ve dated a lot but probably still not enough, i still have to dig deeper and look harder, but maybe there’s something i’m missing so i’d be curious to hear your thoughts and perspectives.
Maybe some advice on how to “sharpen the blade” on dating apps? I do fine with in person approaches too, but i prefer to look outside of my country, maybe cause i’m mixed, and also i work full time and run a YT channel so don’t have much time to go out. Thanks!