Not to psychoanalyze anyone, but can anyone share some insights into that? I am in a situationship with a pretty avoidant man who was the one who first initiated that he would like the relationship to be more serious this time and then deactivated. I calmly expressed that I am not asking for immediate commitment, as I too, would like to see how things go, but that I would like to know whether this is still something he wants pursue further on and plans to explore or whether he would like to end stuff. Because he wasn't really putting effort in or doing anything.
He kept me in a limbo and I gave him multiple exits until I just had enough and told him this is becoming a bit painful for me and he said stuff like "How do I put effort into something when I don't know how this turns out between us?" and then says "I do have plans and I will let you know when it comes to this." "Normally I would pursue you, but I am in the crazy stage of my life where I just can't put too much time into the relationship, but I don't want to lose you".
Well fine, then no thank you. I reacted calmly and said from how I understand things, our wishes and needs aren't really aligned, so I guess this is finished. And then he says that no, things aren't exactly finished. Other times I tried to end it he just flat out pretended it isn't happening and kept acting like everything is normal. This happened after I got triggered and emotionally dumped stuff on him. He still didn't accept the break up.
I don't believe he is flat out cruel, so I would love to understand what exactly that even means.