okay im in 10th grade and have kinda just discovered that you can have real friends who hangout/text with you outside of school and those who only talk to u inside school and in classes.. I fear i have only 1 person who is considered my real friend..
i have so many self conflictions with myself.. its like.. i have friends who i can easily talk at school and have their phone numbers, but i cant get myself to message any of them. like only when i feel really motivated, but on normal days they just sit in my contacts list.. and on instagram i really only send the same 5 people reels and its been a while since ive had a real conversation over text. What am I supposed to say? "Hi?" "How are you?" out of nowhere? it sounds simple but nobody texts someone they havent talk to in a while like that.. plus whenever i try im always the one texting first and i give up within the next 5 days.. i always cry about how nobody cares to message and bothers to text me but i feel the same way about myself; i cant seem to ever bring myself to text anyone…it might be due to some pride or some selfishness thing that i cant seem to figure out. but whenever i do want to text someone, i just cant figure out what to say..
Getting kinda offtopic… but im honestly kind of lonely… how do i get out of this weird grey zone between having friends and having no friends????