One pattern I'm noticing trying to date as a 29M is that people either people really suck at communicating or I'm doing something wrong.

I have women who text me out of no where after not talking for months, ask me on a date, I set a day and time, and literally never hear back after that.

I have other women who will see me around town and text me every time they do, like they want to talk but it never leads anywhere besides not responding at a certain point.

Women on dating apps respond once and then never again, or just abruptly stop responding after multiple days of decent exchanges.

I don't understand what's so challenging about responding to a text in a reasonable time frame, or asking someone a question about themselves and listening.

I don't understand why people reach out to me when their actions show me they don't want to connect.

Is anyone else going through this? It's like people are hilariously uneducated on how to have a basic conversation and it has me feeling like I should just give up hoping someone will show me theyre interested in me and respect the fact that we are having a conversation.

Should I just say fuck dating anyone and being available to connect with women? It kind of feels like I'm shutting down being emotionally available to women because they keep wasting my time and energy and can't seem to have a conversation where I feel respected and desired, like I'm someone they want to be talking to. I'm just getting tired of this.

Edit: I'm sure men do these same things but I don't have experiences with men, hence why I wrote about women lol.


6 comments

  1. 25F here and could say the same for men.
    It sounds like it’s a universal thing unfortunately. A lot of people just like playing games it seems like

  2. All I can say is I’ve experienced this as well. On the bright side I’ve also met people who are very well adjusted and have great social skills. Unfortunately it seems to be the luck of the draw

  3. Men do the same thing. Ghosting is unfortunately the new norm. People set atuff up untill a better optiin cimes aling its honestly fucked up.

  4. 30 F here and this happens to me as well. Personally I enjoy texting with someone and respond pretty quickly to people I’m interested in because I feel that shows effort and your interest in the person. I guess because people now keep their options open and maybe are dating multiple people at a time it’s hard to keep track of people? Or they just suck at communicating. It’s really hard dating in this modern world sometimes, but I feel your pain 🙌😭

  5. This is all pretty easy to understand and remove yourself from.

    People not responding to messages in a timely manner aren’t interested

    People hitting you up randomly after months of silence to ask you out are just seeing if they can get you to respond

    The best dating advice I have ever heard is someone who is interested won’t confuse you.

    People on the apps who stop responding aren’t interested

  6. I have dated a lot and it’s never really been a problem for me. Sure, there were unreliable people here and there but as soon as they stopped replying or wouldn’t confirm something I moved on. Most women kept replying and every time I went on a date they showed up.

    Just make sure to plan the date ASAP. They won’t wait around for a week. We used to date 100% in person, no apps. So let’s say you match on Monday and set the date for Thursday night, you just text your date sparsely until then. On Thursday you text her late in the morning, around 10. Tell her that you’re looking forward to tonight. Let her know when you’re getting ready (like at least an hour before the date) so that she doesn’t think you’re flaking. You finally let her know when you’re there or when you’re leaving. 

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