So i got three problems:-
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I have this bad habit of tearing up (not full on crying but like 7–8 drops max). It happens when I feel extremely angry or humiliated.My eyes just start pouring tears. I absolutely hate it. For example, if someone is loudly humiliating or scolding me, of course I fight back and try to pull the best nonchalant face I can, acting brave and risking getting punched or hurt (I’m usually the weaker one in arguments, but for me being hurt is better than being seen as cowardly). But then, in the middle of shouting, my eyes will start forming tears. Most of the time I run back to my room or some lonely place so no one notices. But I want to stop this completely, no matter how painful it is I'm ready to practice the ways you would recommend. It’s humiliating when my eyes betray me while I’m trying to act nonchalant , especially since the rest of my body cooperates with my mind just fine. My college is starting soon and I really don’t want to look like a crybaby there.
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I don’t know why, but my eyes also start tearing up when someone hugs me in a soothing way, or if they ask if I’m okay and keep pestering me about the “sadness behind my eyes.” If they side-hug me, again my eyes start forming tears. Luckily, hugs aren’t very common in my culture, and since I hate physical touch, I usually only get like 2–3 hugs a year. But I still want to control my body. I don’t want to look like a crybaby or embarrass myself and my family—because it might make it seem like I have some problem at home or that they don’t care for me, which is not true. I’m actually super pampered at home. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, so please help me.
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I also get a strong headache after every argument that makes me tear up (even if it’s just 5–6 drops). Is there any way to stop this?
And please, don’t reply with “therapy” or "just let it go, don’t control your emotions” type of stuff. I don’t want that. I just want to learn how to properly control myself.