Hi Reddit,
I’m a 30-year-old man, and I’ve been in a confusing emotional situation with someone I care deeply about — a 49-year-old man who’s a florist and runs his own business. I’m hoping someone here has gone through something similar and can offer support or insight, especially if you waited things out and eventually got the clarity you needed.
We started spending time together last year and quickly built what felt like a strong emotional and physical connection. We had a great rhythm, spent meaningful time together, and I really came to care for him. He’s more reserved and maybe avoidant at times, but there was something real between us.
In January, things took a sudden turn. I asked him one night if I made him uncomfortable by trying to hold his hand during a movie, and he completely withdrew for weeks. It was painful and confusing, but eventually he did apologize for going silent, and we reconnected in February.
That said, things never fully returned to how they were. I noticed another shift after he went to New York in the middle of April. His birthday is April 30th, and I wasn’t able to give him his gift until Memorial Day — which was also the last time I saw him in person.
Then June into July — around my birthday — I reached out hoping we could hang out or at least connect, but got no response. I felt hurt and dismissed, especially because he continued to view all my Instagram stories. It made me feel like I was visible but not seen, if that makes sense. I eventually got overwhelmed and sent a message out of frustration, which I now regret (that was beginning of July). I reached out the first week of August to apologize and ask for a brief moment to talk things through — just 10 minutes to clear the air — but haven’t heard anything back. He acknowledged it and is open to it but said he has too much going on.
What’s confusing is that he still follows me and views everything I post. I recently asked if I could pick up a sweater I left behind. When I had asked for the gifts I gave him back in July, I left my sweater behind to cover them where he left the gifts for me to pick up at that time. I never got the gifts because it felt too hurtful and it wasn’t what I truly wanted. I didn’t go to get my sweater — something about it felt too final, and I’m not ready to fully let go without understanding what really happened between us and if it can genuinely be worked out. All I want to do is understand what’s going on
Now I’m planning to give it more space and possibly reach out in early October. I want to know if there’s still room to move forward or if this has quietly ended. But the silence has been painful. I don’t know if he’s truly just overwhelmed with work or if he’s slowly pulling away and doesn’t want to say it out loud.
Has anyone else waited for clarity from someone they cared about? How did you wait to get a response back? Did you approach in person but waited for a bit?
Thanks for reading ❤️